Lisa's Journey Journal

Days 44, 45, 46, & 47: Hong Kong, Hong Kong ~ Toronto, Canada

2011-10-17T23:38:00.001-04:00

Wow! We had three great but very full days exploring Hong Kong. On Friday, we started off by visiting three traditional markets in Mongkok (the neighbourhood our hotel was in). First, we walked through the Flower Market, which was located, of course, on Flower Market Street. The whole street was lined with various flower shops, and it smelled heavenly!

Here's Kevin "wafting" to smell the flowers (or is he reading his fingers?):

Just beyond the Flower Market was Yuen Po Street Bird Garden, a bird market set in a Chinese-style garden. This big, stupid bird was at the entrance:

Hundred of birds were for sale -- most were in small individual cages, but some medium-sized cages held over 30 birds! I don't know how humane it was, but it was certainly something to see:

This guy was really proud of his parrot:

This "free" bird taunted the caged birds by stealing their food:

They also had bags of live crickets and meal worms -- with the fate of being fresh bird feed. Kevin taunted all of the birds by stealing their worms:

Next, we wandered over to the Goldfish Market, among the most bizarre markets I've ever visited. The street was filled with a plethora of goldfish shops, and most of them had tropical fish hanging in plastic bags out front:

There were lots of other aquarium critters too, like crabs, crayfish, and this mad pile-up of turtles:

We went to the harbour on the mainland-side twice to see the view south of Hong Kong Island. Once was in the daylight:

During the day we walked along the Avenue of Stars, which features handprints of HK movie celebrities -- we of course didn't know any of them:

At night we saw the world's largest permanent lightshow, called "A Symphony of Lights". The buildings on Hong Kong Island are illuminated by lights and lasers, accompanied by music:

The skyline of the island was beautiful!

On Friday night, we went to the area known as Lan Kwai Fong, the main eating and drinking area on Hong Kong Island. We enjoyed dinner and beers there, and it was bustling with tourists and partiers since it was Friday night. First pub we stopped was at the bottom of the strip and had pricey drinks, then as we worked our way further up the hill, the beer prices kept dropping lower and lower:

On the way back to our hotel, we discovered several hooker bars within a block of where we were staying. One had prices for the girls posted next to the door. Apparently Russians are the the best:

The next day, in better light, we noticed posters outside another one of these fine establishments advertising some intriguing additions to the traditional "hooking" experience:

We pried ourselves away from the prostitutes, and went to The Peak, the top of the hill towering over the city and harbour on the Hong Kong Island side. The from The Peak we had an extraordinary panoramic view, and the weather was perfect!

On the tram, heading down the hill again, I raced in to get a seat, and a rat-bastard little kid slid in past me, stealing the best spot. What a jerk! I was outraged and pouting. Apparently I must look like the kind of person that small children can walk all over, as the following day another four year-old punk butted in front of me on the bus and stole the front seat! I considered pulling a tantrum, but then figured that if I acted like a giant baby other people might've thought that I was a giant baby.

After The Peak, we went to Hong Kong Park to the Edward Youde Aviary. It was really cool! It had a stream running through a walk-through rainforest valley, with small waterfalls and pools, all enclosed inside a stainless steal mesh. About 600 birds were held inside.

I had a lot of fun identifying the birds we saw (by referring to the free pamphlet). This is a Bali Mynah:

These are Lories:

And this is a Java Sparrow:

I think I might have to add birdwatching as a new "interest" of mine on Facebook.

In the evening we went to the Temple Street Market for dinner and shopping. At first we found it rather unimpressive and much smaller than we'd imagined. What was all the hype about? We struggled to find a Chinese restaurant with any English on the menu, and when we finally came across one with the bonus of pictures, we jumped on it:

The barbecued pork buns and poached vegetables were excellent. The "steamed pork" (AKA pig's gross parts) and "steamed chicken" (AKA chicken skin and fat wrapped in fish cake) weren't so awesome. It was a fun, authentic-feeling experience nonetheless. After dinner we soon realized that we were on the entirely wrong end of Temple Street, having missed our intended target of the market almost completely. The market was super-packed and humongous. The street stalls seemed to keep going on forever with clothing, handicrafts, toys, general junk, fortune tellers and dildos:

If we weren't already "market"ed-out, we certainly were after our last full-day Hong Kong. In the morning we took a bus (upon which the stupid-wiener kid I mentioned earlier sniped my seat) to Stanley Market. Stanley is a village on Hong Kong's southernmost peninsula, and it's right on the water. It was beautiful, with a huge European-styled promenade bordering the waterfront, and a large number of pubs, bars and restaurants:

Kevin bought a painting from the market...

We laughed at this tie...

And then we enjoyed some food and beers by the ocean. We watched a man transfer his small dog from its personal stroller into his dog handbag for easy portability at the restaurant:

This was the second time we'd seen a man pushing a dog in a stroller since arriving in Hong Kong. Here was the first:

We think the cigarette hanging out of his mouth gave him a more "manly" appearance.

Back in our 'hood, we (Kevin quite grudgingly) went to Ladies' Market. It was pretty similar to the other markets we'd been to already, with the addition of many stalls offering lingerie and slutty club outfits. Frustrated at having to dig through disorganized piles of extremely tacky clothes, I gave up and we proceeded to the nearby H&M where we both had much better luck.

For our last dinner in Hong Kong, we headed back to the (correct) part of Temple Street Market and had dinner at a boppin' place on the street, right in the middle of the hustle and bustle. It was great! We tried some more Chinese dishes, including bok choy with garlic, spicy beef with mushrooms, and sweet and sour chicken. YUMMMM!

We absolutely loved Hong Kong, but we're happy to finally head back home to Canada! Our voyage finished today, and what an adventure it was = 47 days of fun and exploration, 6 countries, 5 books, too many beers, and an unfathomable amount of traveler's diarrhea. Our flight left Hong Kong at 3:10 PM, and compared to the extremely low-budget airlines we'd used thus far, Air Canada's economy class seemed like first-class to us -- meals and drinks included, and individual TVs -- but 15 hours sure is a long time to sit still. We arrived at 6 PM in Toronto, and Kevin's parents picked us up from the airport. Kevin's mom, Linda, reminded me exactly of my mom last year when she met us at the arrivals gate -- as soon as she saw us, her arms started flailing like wounded bird trying to take flight. She even had balloons and a "Welcome Home" sign hanging on the door of the their house for us! I can't wait to get reunited with my family and friends in the weeks to come! I hope you're prepared Canada!! Thanks for reading! xoxo

Days 41, 42, & 43: Siem Reap, Cambodia ~ Hong Kong, Hong Kong

2011-10-13T23:26:00.001-04:00

On Tuesday our hunt for a crocodile burger was satisfied:

Crikey! They were delicious! Huge, stuffed full of great toppings, and the meat in the burger had a bold flavour, unlike any beef or chicken burger I've tried. It tasted well-seasoned, but it could've just been the natural flavour of the croc. A glass of red wine to accompany it, and I felt like a fancy girl.

On Tuesday evening we went to a restaurant that had nightly "Apsara" dance performances. It's a cultural Khmer style of dancing, and you watch while you eat dinner. We saw several different dances. Two featured only women, and were slow and rhythmical. One was called the "Blessing Dance", and the dancers threw flowers:

The second was called "Apsara Dance", and the women wore these beautiful headdresses:

Two of our favourite dances were more lively and upbeat, featuring both men and women. They wore amazing costumes during the "Pailin Peacock" dance, but it was hard to capture any pictures because they moved so damn fast:

The last dance of the evening was called the "Fishing Dance". Everyone carried wooden fishing baskets, and it told the story of one guy courting or "catching" a girl. It was really cute:

The costumes were beautiful and the style of dance was very unique!

Because it's the low season for tourists in Siem Reap, the tuk-tuk (motorbike-cart taxi) drivers were desperate for customers throughout our entire stay. As soon as we stood up from our table at a restaurant, two or three would eagerly run over and ask if we needed a ride. During the one minute walk back to our hotel, we usually had to turn down 8-10 different drivers. It got pretty annoying at times, but we understood that they need to make a living. A few drivers used more creative measures to attract business. One man would try to get the attention of a woman in a restaurant, while she was still sitting down at her seat. When she looked at him, he'd hold up a sign that read: "Hello Beautiful Lady, do you a need a tuk-tuk?" It was pretty funny. Other drivers opted to "pimp" their rides, decorating their tuk-tuks with flashy designs, such as Spiderman and Batman:

One man chose to paint the slightly more inventive "Butterfly Man" on his tuk-tuk. Apparently Kevin believes the drivers all look the same, as he excitedly greeted a random man on the street, wrongfully thinking it was the guide from our temples trip. They didn't look anything alike.

Last night we ate Khmer-style BBQ. A grill (on top of a gas burner) was put on our table, and we barbecued up five different kinds of meat, some more exotic than others. Beef:

Shrimp:

Frog legs and snake:

And crocodile:

The frog legs tasted great -- just like tiny chicken legs. The snake was really chewy. The flavour wasn't bad, but it felt like I was gnawing on a big piece of gristle. The crocodile was awesome -- kind of a cross between chicken and fish, but a little bit chewier. Around the base of the grill was a "moat" filled with broth, veggies and noodles. The broth developed a lot of flavour from the various meat drippings. It was our last meal in Cambodia, and what a great way to finish our time there!

Today we had an early start, as we flew out of Siem Reap at 8:35 AM. We had a stopover in Malaysia where we happily tried every sample available at the airport's bulk food store. We both bought some candy, and Kevin made the store clerk laugh when he tried to fill his plastic bag from the bottom. He'd also chosen the smallest bag size and stuffed it so full that it would barely close. Then, I had the pleasure of listening to him struggle to open the Ziploc bag, slurp down one single candy, struggle to zip the bag closed again, then noisily shove the plastic bag away. He repeated this process about 30 times.

We arrived in Hong Kong at 6:30 PM, and took a big double-decker bus to the neighbourhood of our hotel. Here's our bus driving away after dropping us off:

About 10 seconds after taking that photo, I realized that in the scurry of getting off at the right stop, I'd left my small carry-on bag under the seat of the bus. Luckily it only contained my PASSPORT! Crap on a stick! I tried chasing the bus, but it was much too late... especially because the sidewalk was packed with pedestrians, and especially because I'm not a fast runner on a good day.

So we decided to check into our literally microscopic hotel room, and get the hotel clerk to help us.

He tried calling the bus company but there was no answer. With relatively low expectations, I went out onto the street again, hoping to catch the same bus when it circled back towards the airport. As I waited, I went through a series of various emotional states: self-loathing, freaking out about needing to get a new passport issued in Hong Kong, sorry to Kevin for ruining our night, SO hungry, sad that my journal was in the bag too, wishing that I'd lost the bag with my clothes in it instead so I'd have an excuse to go shopping, etc. Well, someone must've been smiling down on me today, because the second bus that came by was the one I'd left my bag on, and it was still there under the seat! After extensive happy-dances on the street (on my part), we went for dinner at cafe-type restaurant:

Tired from the long day of traveling, we returned to our room to rest up for tomorrow's adventures. Our bed is actually two small twin mattresses pushed together. It's not a bad thing actually, because makes it much easier for me to regulate Kevin's bed-hogging since there's a clear divider line in the centre!

Days 39 & 40: Siem Reap, Cambodia

2011-10-10T22:33:00.002-04:00

So, the hotel we stayed in our first night in Siem Reap had a few flaws -- the room was grungy, the bathroom seemed like a dark, dirty cave, the price was too high, and the location was kinda far from the main area. Breakfast was included with our stay, and it wasn't exactly superb either -- service took a long time, and I believe that Kevin's two tiny, sawdust pancakes ended up being the straw that broke the camel's back. We started looking at different hotels immediately after eating. We compared a couple of similar-style rooms as we worked our way into the main part of town. Suddenly "Viva!", a Mexican restaurant / guesthouse, appeared before our eyes like an oasis in the desert. It's clean and bright, cheaper at only $20/night including breakfast, and in a much better location -- right in the heart of the main restaurants and shops area.

Best of all, whenever we need a plate of nachos or $0.50 glasses of draught beer, we just have walk downstairs. Yesterday we ate Mexican for both lunch and for first dinner. Ole!

For second dinner, we headed to Pub Street. We met up with Kevin's ball hockey friend from Korea, Jon, and his girlfriend, Ashley. We shared some drinks and good times!

Today we woke up to discover that flooding from Thailand made its way over here last night while we slept. The river that runs through Siem Reap is completely overflowing, and all of the streets in the main part of town (that were dry just last night) are totally flooded. Everyone has no choice but to wade through the water to go anywhere. Here's the river and street next to it:

And here are some students on their way to school:

It's actually pretty funny. The water's really warm, so it's not uncomfortable, and the quality of people watching has gone up by 146%! Here's the view in front of our hotel's restaurant:

After a breakfast of Mexican omelets, we visited the world-renowned temples of Angkor. During the Angkorian period (9th-15th centuries), the ruling god-kings of the great Khmer Empire built imposing temples as a way of asserting their divinity. More than 100 temples can be seen today, which stand as an impressive monument to the greatest ancient civilization in Southeast Asia.

First we visited the best-known monument -- the vast Hindu temple of Angkor Wat. It was built in the 12th century as a mausoleum and temple for King Suryavarman II. We couldn't believe the size of it!

It's most memorable feature is the distinctive conical-shaped towers, designed to look like lotus buds:

We were also impressed by monkeys humping on the back gate.

It took us close to two hours to walk around the massive grounds of the temple, and we were dripping with sweat when we returned to our tuk-tuk (that we'd hired to drive us around the temples for the day). Kevin left a lovely sweat stain on the back of the seat:

The next place we visited was Angkor Thom, an immense city enclosed by four defensive walls, 8 m high and 3 km long on each side. It was built during the late 12th and early 13th centuries, and was the last and greatest capital of the Angkor era. It was home to an estimated million people, and was an architectural masterpiece -- much more spectacular and extravagant than any Western city at the time. Each gateway leading into the city is approached via a stone causeway crossing a wide moat. On each causeway, 54 god images on the left and 54 demons on the right depict the myth of the Churning of the Ocean of Milk, the myth of creation where gods and evil spirits churn the ocean for a thousand years to produce the elixir of immortality, creating order out of chaos. Here's the south gateway:

And here's a handsome "devil":

In the centre of the walled city is the temple of Bayon, fascinating because of the large carved faces adorning the sides of its 54 towers.

Two hundred metres northwest of Bayon, we walked across the Terrace of Elephants. It would have been used by the king to address his public, and as a ceremonial viewing platform. It was also used as a platform for Kevin's elephant impression:

Pretty sweaty (okay, extremely sweaty) and exhausted by this point, we decided to visit one last temple that interested us, called Ta Phrom. It's a stunning 12th century temple-monastery that, rather than being cleared and restored like most of the other Angkor monuments, it's been left to the jungle and appears roughly as it did to the Europeans who rediscovered these ruins in the 19th century. Roots and trunks intermingle with the moss-covered stones and seem almost part of the structure. It was really cool -- our favourite temple of the day!

We'd both bought one-day passes to see the temples -- and both felt "templed-out" after a mere five hours of exploration. I couldn't imagine how temple-obsessed you'd have to be to get the seven-day pass!

We got back to Siem Reap around 2 PM, and had fun wading through the "river" on Pub Street. We chose a restaurant specifically because they advertised "Croc Burgers", but unfortunately they were fresh out of crocodile. I'll continue the hunt tomorrow!

Lunch was followed by a grand siesta, then another Mexican meal for dinner:

We even ordered take-out beers for our room. I don't predict that the next two days here will be overly productive. Yay!

Days 37 & 38: Phnom Penh, Cambodia ~ Siem Reap, Cambodia

2011-10-08T22:46:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we spent a good chunk of the day sightseeing around Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. Our first stop of the day was the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum (formerly Security Prison 21). Originally a high school, it was transformed into a primitive prison and interrogation centre by the Khmer Rouge.

I was unfamiliar with Cambodian history previous to our travels, but the Khmer Rouge killed nearly two million Cambodians from 1975-1979 in the name of a communist agrarian ideal. During 1975-1979, an estimated 20,000 victims were held at here in Security Prison 21 (S-21 as it became known). Barbed wire was installed around the perimeter of the prison, and classrooms were divided into individual cells, or housed shackled rows of prisoners.

Building "A" was used for detaining people of high status (professors, politicians, professionals and intellectuals) who were accused of leading the uprising against communist revolution. Their cells were the largest, and had a bed, blanket, cushion, mat, and an iron bucket as a toilet.

Buildings "B", "C", and "D" were reconstructed differently. The ground floor was divided into very small cells with brick walls.

The first floor was divided into cells with wooden walls.

And the upper floors were mass detention rooms where many prisoners were crowded together. Each floor was surrounded by barbed wire to prevent prisoners from escaping or committing suicide.

Most prisoners at S-21 were held there for two to three months. Within two or three days after they were brought to S-21, all prisoners were taken in for interrogation. The torture system at Tuol Sleng was designed to make prisoners confess to whatever crimes they were charged with by their captors. Prisoners were routinely beaten and tortured with electric shocks, searing hot metal instruments and hanging, as well as through the use of various other devices. Some prisoners were cut with knives or suffocated with plastic bags. Other methods for generating confessions included pulling out fingernails while pouring alcohol on the wounds, and water torture. We saw many photos of the prisoners, as well as illustrations of the various types of torture that they were subjected to. Visiting the museum was a really sad experience.

Next we went to Choeung Ek (The Killing Fields) which is located just outside of Phnom Penh. At first we watched a video which explained that about 20,000 people were executed and murdered here by the Khmer Rouge regime between 1975-1979. Many victims had suffered prolonged torture at S-21 prison before being led to their deaths at Choeung Ek. In 1980, the bodies of 8985 people were exhumed from 86 mass graves. A further 43 graves have been left untouched. Here are some of the bone fragments and teeth that were excavated:

Men, women, and children were typically beaten to death, shot, beheaded, or tied up and buried alive. Babies were specifically targeted because the Khmer Rouge's slogan was, "to kill grass, you must pull it out by the roots". Babies were sometimes held by the legs as their heads were smashed against trees.

Entire families were murdered so that the babies and children wouldn't have the chance to take revenge later in life.

The Choeung Ek site is dominated by a tall, hallow stupa that commemorates all of those who died between 1975-1979. Thousands of unearthed skulls are displayed on glass shelves inside the stupa:

It was a sobering experience, to say the least.

Our next stop was the Russian Market. There was nothing Russian about it though, so I have no idea how they came up with the name. There was an interesting assortment of meats, including pig snouts hanging from four-pronged hooks. Blood ran freely in streams along the floor.

Kevin bought some t-shirts for only $2 each.

Many times during our Asian voyage we've seen three, four, or even five people riding on the same motorbike together -- quite the sight -- but until yesterday I wasn't a fast enough photographer to catch any of the spectacular showings on film. Well, after much anticipation (on my part) I finally caught not one, but TWO, motorbikes with four people on them in a single photo. I consider this to be one of my greatest triumphs:

For lunch we tried "amok", a Cambodian dish.

It was fantastic! Curry with a rich coconut-milk sauce baked in banana leaf. Definitely one of our top favourite dishes of the trip! I took a sizable (3 hour) nap following the hearty dish.

In the evening we saw this ambitious motorbike driver carting a rather large assortment of goods:

Today we had an early start, as we took a mini-bus from the capital of Phnom Penh to another major city in Cambodia called Siem Reap. We saw so much flooding along the way -- cows were kept near the highway because the rest of the properties were covered in water. I can't believe they deal with this every year during monsoon season!

At a rest stop, Kevin called me over to a food stall, saying: "Hey Lisa, come look at this!" There was a big, white bucket in front of the stall, and I screamed when I saw what was inside:

Live spiders! And on the table above them was a tray of fried spiders:

Yum?

The rest of the five-hour bus ride was spent listening to a screaming baby, and an annoying squawking boy. I think some of the squawking might've been attempts at singing, but if so, someone is in need of lessons.

We arrived in Siem Reap around 2 PM. It's so much nicer here than in Phnom Penh. There are lots of pubs, shops and restaurants, and it's only $0.50 for draft beer! This is one of the best cities we've visited on our trip:

We went to a restaurant where, instead of happy hour, they have what is called "Happy Day" from open-6 PM. You can get a full meal with a beer for only $3. We happily enjoyed our second lunch of the day there.

After winding down and watching the sunset at our hotel...

...We headed out to Pub Street (a popular street with lots of bars and restaurants) for the evening where we enjoyed some dinner, drinks, and people-watching (one of my favourite past times). I spotted some douchy-looking guys at a bar wearing douchy tank tops, and they apparently noticed me noticing their douchy-ness:

We still have four more full-days here in Siem Reap, and they should be great! xo

Days 33-36: Koh Samui, Thailand ~ Bangkok, Thailand ~ Phnom Penh, Camboda

2011-10-06T23:29:00.003-04:00

For those eagerly awaiting my next exciting update, I'm sorry for the delayed post! We didn't have (free) Internet at our hotel last night so I had to wait until we arrived in Cambodia this evening to update.

Our last couple of days on Koh Samui were fairly uneventful yet spectacular. We did pretty much nothing, but really enjoyed doing it. We don't feel particularly bad about it either because we'd been looking forward to this leg of our trip just so we could relax -- and we certainly surpassed our greatest expectations about how little we could actually accomplish, given the time and the opportunity.

On Tuesday we visited Na Muang Waterfall, which was about a 15 minute drive from our hotel. The falls splash down a 20 m wall of rock into a large pool. It was really pretty, but the water didn't look so clean so I opted not to swim.

A little grime couldn't stop Kevin though.

He said the water was a lot colder than at the beach.

Walking back down the path from the falls, we spotted the biggest spider in existence (in my mind, anyways).

It was at least 6 inches long (says Kevin -- in my mind it was about 2 feet long), and extremely disgusting! It had the image of a skull on its back -- can you see it?? Good thing the skull was there as warning, otherwise I likely would've taken it home as a pet.

We discovered a street hawker food court in our neighbourhood, where we had dinner on Monday and Tuesday nights. Here are curried chicken skewers and spring rolls:

Delicious and cheaper than dirt. I've literally bought soil for a homegrown flower that was more expensive, and not as tasty. And the flowers didn't flourish either.

Yesterday, for our final breakfast on Koh Samui, we unintentionally went out with a bang. First, as I was pouring milk into my coffee, I was carefully trying to dab off a tiny drop off of milk of the mini milk pot, when I spilled the entire thing on the table. Smooth. Then, as I was sprinkling black pepper onto my food, the fan blew it all over the table -- everywhere except on my food. Kevin made fun of me, until I helpfully pointed out the huge fresh (self-inflicted) food stain on the front of his new white shirt. His attempts to wash off the food resulted in a million pieces of shredded up tissue fusing themselves to the spot. At least we only have each other to impress here.

At 11 AM we took a ferry from Koh Samui to the mainland. A swindling weasel of lady attempted to sell us a taxi from the pier to the Surat Thani airport for over $60. We refused her "special" offer for foreigners, and easily found a ride for under $15 upon arriving a the pier. We also narrowly avoided stepping in a pile of dog crap at the pier, but Kevin wasn't so lucky today when he slipped on a fresh mound in Bangkok (much of said mound still remains in the treads of his sandal).

From Surat Thani, we took an hour-long flight to Bangkok, Thailand, and stayed at a hotel close to the airport with the charming name of BS Residence. Despite the title, it's actually a really nice place with a huge pool -- and we were upgraded to deluxe room (probably because we give off an air of royalty)!

There was a big food market right in front of the hotel where we ate dinner last night.

Another customer (a nice local Thai guy) helped us order our meals, since the foreigner population, and thus the use of spoken English in the area, was close to zero. The food was great! I had the chicken coconut curry (center back) and Kevin tried the spicy pork curry (front right).

Our two meals together came to less than $2!

Today was spent swimming and lounging in the sun until we headed to the airport for our 3:30 PM flight to Cambodia. Here is Kevin demonstrating an excellent impression of a crab dance in the BS pool:

Here is the sweet "Slipknot"-themed bus we wished we could've taken the the airport:

Followed by our actual (not nearly as impressive) airport shuttle bus:

The Bangkok airport has ridiculously overpriced food, so we decided to "do as the locals do" and ate microwaved frozen meals from 7-11. Surprisingly good curries and soups they've got there! Our flight to the city of Phnom Penh in Cambodia was just over an hour long, and we arrived at 4:30 PM.

We'd heard from other friends that Cambodia can be a wet place this time of year (as it's monsoon season), and we quickly learned that they weren't exaggerating. Here are a couple of shots I took on our way to the hotel in our moto (taxi / motorbike-pulling-a-wagon thing-a-ma-jiggy):

We checked into our hotel and then enjoyed a dinner of roast beef, Cambodian-style:

You eat the meat with the vegetables, and dip them together into the various sauces. So good!

Tomorrow we have a full-day of sightseeing in Phnom Penh planned, then we head to the city of Siem Reap on Saturday. I should get going to bed so I can rest up! xoxo

Days 31 & 32: Koh Samui, Thailand

2011-10-02T23:45:00.002-04:00

Thai food is so delicious! We've been enjoying lots of it since it's so much cheaper than Western food (only $2-3 per meal)! Some of our favourites include pad thai:

Tom yum (hot and sour) soup:

Green curry:

And kway tiaw nam (rice noodle soup with chicken):

We've also maximized our gluttony level by eating at buffets twice in the last two days.

Last night we watched free Muay Thai boxing fights, which were pretty crazy. First of all, the ring was surrounded by seedy hostess bars:

The first fight was between two little boys, who likely hadn't hit puberty yet. The second fight was between two women without any formal training whatsoever. It was sloppy and lacked "technique" -- they were just swinging and running at each other psychotically. Here's what appears to be a defensive "box" shot:

It was awesome!

To make things a little more interesting, Kevin and I had been betting each other $1 per fight. So far, I was up 2 for 2. In the next women's fight, I thought for sure my reign was over. During the minutes before the match began, Kevin's fighter warmed up and then bowed and prayed elaborately. My pick just stood there looking lazy and disinterested:

If she wasn't wearing gloves, she probably would've been picking her nose. I was worried. But my girl ended up kicking some serious tail in the fight! Overall, I (against all odds) won 4/5 bets, with the other one ending in a draw. Perhaps I should take up professional gambling? Instead of rolling in Kevin's money, I'm going to make him come to the spa with me. I think he can barely wait!

Today we spent almost all day outside at the pools and on the beach. It was another beautiful day! We've noticed that there's this one man (another hotel guest) who always sits in the exact same lounge chair by the pool, facing the sun all day long. Everyday so far, he's already been out there by the time we go for breakfast at 9 AM, and he remains there until the sun goes down. It's crazy. His chest and stomach are a deep reddish-purple colour, but we've never witnessed him rotating to tan his back, let alone even seen him get out of his chair in the past week. Today was the first time he got up (to our knowledge) and his entire back is completely white. It's quite bizarre.

We also visited Hin Yay ("Grandmother Rock") and Hin Ta ("Grandfather Rock") today, which are small rock formations at the southern end of Lamai Beach. One might imagine cute rocks jutting out of the water that resemble a happy old couple, like this fine example I drew:

Instead, the rocks actually look like female and male sexual organs:

Grandmother and Grandfather Rock?? Whoever named them had some questionable family relations! We had fun taking photos though. Sometimes all you need is a little perspective:

We only have 2 more full days left on Koh Samui now, I can't believe how quickly time is passing! Going to the spa and visiting a waterfall tomorrow! xo

Days 28, 29 & 30: Koh Samui, Thailand

2011-09-30T23:11:00.002-04:00

Active. Energetic. Vital. These aren't words that we could use to describe ourselves the past three days. It seems that the extreme laziness of beach life has caused our brains to completely shut down. Yesterday Kevin got dressed with his shirt on backwards. As he was correcting it, and I was still laughing at his expense, I noticed that he also missed a belt loop on his shorts. After a meal, I took the restaurant's bottle of vinegar instead of my own water bottle. Brilliance hasn't been a big part of our game lately.

We wanted to make sandwiches for lunch today, so we visited a fresh food market. It didn't exactly have the fresh meat that we were craving:

So we headed instead to a more traditional Thai market, which carries only the finest and freshest food ingredients available:

Our trip to the Tesco supermarket was an adventure in itself. Before leaving the hotel, Kevin had studied the map. He led the way, confident that he knew exactly where he was going, and I followed obediently. For a while anyways. After walking for a good 20 minutes, Kevin turned away from civilization, down an old country road. I looked at him quizzically, and asked him if he was sure that this was the right way. With unwavering certainty, he declared: "It's up here a bit further". Even as houses gave way to ramshackle huts, his certainty was unwavering. Eventually the decrepit huts gave way to empty lots, and the empty lots were replaced with makeshift landfill sites, but he pushed on. Even as I questioned why a huge Tesco supermarket would be located on a deserted dirt road, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by heaps of trash, he still continued forward with certitude. After what felt like an eternity, I thought I noticed a flicker of doubt pass over Kevin's face, but he looked at me and reassured: "It'll be at the next intersection." He bet me a beer on it. I don't know what exactly finally changed his mind -- my exasperated pleas to turn back, or the vultures that were starting to circle above us -- but thankfully, we did turn around, having only sacrificed 40 minutes on the detour.

At Tesco we bought a grilled chicken and baguette to make sandwiches in our hotel room. I can only imagine how impressed the maids must have been when they encountered the resulting flurry of bread crumbs strewn over every inch of available surface area in our room. I literally peeled a chunk of bread crust off of Kevin's back when he woke up this morning.

Today we went for another long walk on the beach where we spotted several topless women, as well as this fine specimen, sunning his rump by hiking his Speedo up high between his cheeks. Lovely:

I also snapped this photo of Kevin, which highlights his six-pack (an illusion created by the perfect combination of shadows and chest hair):

We've been soaking up the sand and sun, swimming frequently and trying various cheap Thai dishes at restaurants. The Lamai Beach area boasts several interestingly-named bars, including:

Last night we watched a fire show at a bar on the beach. They're set to music and are shown every night. A very entertaining way to spend an hour or so!

Tomorrow we plan on watching women's Muay Thai boxing fights! Should be funny!

Days 25, 26 & 27: Chang Mai, Thailand ~ Koh Samui, Thailand

2011-09-28T19:52:00.000-04:00

On Monday we had a long day of travel. First we flew from Chang Mai to Bangkok in Thailand. Then after a 5-hour layover spent watching TV shows on Kevin's laptop, we flew to Surat Thani (a jumping-off point for trips to the islands). This was the 10th flight of our trip, and also the very first time that Kevin's bag appeared before mine at the baggage claim. As soon as he saw his bag "win", Kevin did an overexcited (and entirely unnecessary) fist-pump, yelling "Eat it, bitch!" at me. This granted him strange looks from other nearby passengers, and a particularly nasty look from myself. Next was a 90 minute bus ride to the ferry port, a 90 minute ferry ride to Koh Samui (an island in the Gulf Coast of Thailand), and a 30 minute taxi ride to our hotel.

When we finally checked into our hotel, the long day of travel suddenly became very worthwhile. Our hotel is called Marina Villa. It's beautiful and has two pools!

It's right on Lamai Beach, a 4 km white palm-fringed beach:

There's a convenience store across the street from our hotel, which offers a fine assortment of alcoholic beverages, including "Uncle Tom's" ('absolute'-ly not a knockoff), and "Red Cock" (a mystery type of liquor):

Yesterday was Kevin's 27th birthday, so went out for lunch at an Indian restaurant (his favourite):

We relaxed all afternoon, then went out for a night on the town. We practically starved ourselves at dinner with pretty measly surf and turf dinner, consisting of only mussels, a whole barbecued fish, two steaks, four tiger prawns, chicken, spareribs and vegetables:

Then we watched Muay Thai fights. Kevin said the stadium was a lot more "legit" than the one in Chang Mai, as the ring (unfortunately) wasn't surrounded was a plethora of lady-boy bars. It was exciting to see, as all of the fighters were under 150 lbs. They were tiny, agile and feisty -- they really kicked and punched the crap out of each other!

One guy was bleeding everywhere. They stitched him up in a medical room right next to the ring, with big windows so anyone could watch (or take gross pictures):

After generally being pretty busy sightseeing for the past couple of weeks, we've both been adjusting well to the laziness of beach life. Today's highlights included eating, suntanning, swimming in the ocean and swimming in not one, but both, of the hotel's pools, eating again, and a two hour nap. Not bad at all! We've got about a week more here, so if this trend continues, we should be brown and obese by the time we leave.

Day 25: Chang Mai, Thailand

2011-09-25T23:36:00.002-04:00

Today was a fun and busy day. We started off on the right foot with Kevin locking our hotel key inside the room. Then we went for breakfast where we saw the happiest ants on earth, with practically a whole colony living inside a sugar jar at the restaurant:

Next we took a taxi to the Tiger Kingdom, and the driver's dogs jumped into the truck, hoping to come for the ride:

At the Tiger Kingdom, there are four different sizes of tigers: big, medium, small, and smallest. You choose which size you want to interact with, then you have 15 minutes inside their enclosure with them to touch them and take photos. I voted for the smallest size of tiger, figuring they would be the least capable of eating us. Kevin voted for the biggest tiger, because they sounded the "coolest". We "compromised" on medium-sized, which were still pretty damn big, in my opinion. The trainer came into the enclosure with us, where there were two free-running female tigers roaming around named Lulu and Lala. The trainer made one tiger sit down, then had us lay all over it while we took pictures:

Taking a cat nap:

I think it's safe to say that we were both petrified. They're beautiful animals, but so scary to be right beside! As I was leaning on one, she yawned, showing all of her sharp, dangerous, dagger teeth, and I nearly had a heart attack:

After taking a few pictures of each other with the tigers, Kevin and I both quickly said together, "OK, I think we're ready to get out of here!" The trainer insisted we try new poses with the other tiger in the enclosure (who had been standoff-ish from the beginning). Oh joy. We rushed through that, then he made us pose together while he took pictures, and while the tiger tore the crap out of a tree branch:

It was a very insane experience to say the least! But cool looking back now. The pictures turned out well -- we somehow managed to smile while simultaneously fearing for our lives.

Next we visited the Karen Long Neck Hill Tribe Village. Karen is the largest hill tribe group in Thailand (pop. 500,000) and many are recent refugees from Burma. They have a small subgroup called the Paduang, who are the most famous of all hill tribe groups because they're long-necked. They wear columns of heavy brass rings around their necks and their necks are stretched up to 30 cm!

The pressure of 11 pounds of brass actually squashes their collarbones and ribs, and removing the stack would cause their necks to collapse and suffocation. Girls in the tribe start wearing rings from about the age of 6, adding one or two each year until they are 16.

We were told that nowadays the hill tribes are actually quite rich because of tourism. Most tribes produce and sell beautiful handicrafts, such as jewelery, bags, and artwork. Here's a woman weaving scarves:

And here's Kevin checking out a knife that was for sale:

The village was cool to see, but the effects of tourism are fairly apparent.

At lunch I tried a dish famous in northern Thailand, called khao soi. It's made with a thick broth of curry and coconut cream, and both soft and crispy egg noodles, and chicken:

It was delicious and filling. I don't think I finished more than a quarter of it!

Tonight we went to the Sunday Night Market. A whole street is closed to traffic and filled with stalls selling clothes, handicrafts, and food:

We both got dinner from food stalls:

But we neglected to try the tempting crickets that were available.

Kevin then put his haggling skills into action, buying four T-shirts for a fraction of the asking price. I then had him work his magic to help me buy some wooden placemats. As the saleswoman reluctantly dropped the price lower and lower, her frustration with Kevin grew higher and higher. She'd yell: "No less! Final price!" angrily, then with Kevin's persistence, drop the price again. It was amazing. Finally, they were arguing over the difference of 20 baht (less than $1), and she wouldn't budge, but neither would he. So we walked away -- and her co-worker called us back, giving Kevin the price he'd asked for. The original saleslady yelled over furiously, "Not me! I don't agree!" Awesome!

Tomorrow we head down to Ko Samui, an island on the Gulf Coast of Thailand. Should be fun!

Days 23 & 24: Hanoi, Vietnam ~ Chang Mai, Thailand

2011-09-25T02:09:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we flew from Hanoi, Vietnam to Chang Mai, Thailand, with a brief stopover in Bangkok. Nothing of noteworthy significance happened during the flights, besides a woman at the airport dropping a stinky fart right next to us, then running away hurriedly from the scene of the crime.

We got to our hotel around 2:00 PM, then explored our neighbourhood in Chang Mai. Chang Mai is Thailand's second-biggest city, but is way more laid back and chilled out than Bangkok. We love it here! The streets aren't overly busy, and there are tons of nice little restaurants and used bookshops. Our hotel is in the traditional old quarter, which is set within a two-kilometre-square moat:

Around the corner from our hotel is a cute little market, selling fruit, vegetables, spices, meat and, of course, denim:

They cleverly hang streamers from the fans to keep flies away from the meat. It doesn't keep the dogs away though:

At the restaurant where we ate lunch, we spotted this sweet gray ponytail:

And also I managed to capture the ponytail behind our Chang beer, Thailand's beer of choice:

I had Yum Woosen (spicy glass noodle salad) = delicious!

Today we went to Wat Bupparam, which is an historically significant site because it was from here in 1797 that Chao Kawila took back the city of Chang Mai after 200 years of Burmese rule:

We also checked out the Night Bazaar, one of Chang Mai's most popular attractions. It sells just about anything produced in Chang Mai:

Including these stylish caps made from empty cans:

Now, over to Kevin with today's "Sports Report":

Because Lisa's body was doing its best impression of a lawn sprinkler, I went to see some Muay Thai boxing fights by myself. Muay Thai is a style of kickboxing originating from here, which uses not just punches and kicks, but knees and elbows as well. As I got to the stadium, a term I'll use very loosely, I was escorted in by one of the many ladies or ladyboys working at the facility. I can say with no level of certainty which gender this woman was born into. Here is the inside of the "stadium". It's a ring under an enclosure, and the walls surrounding it consist of nothing but ladyboy bars. I was seated at a table, and the bar closest to me was where I had to buy my drinks.

While the atmosphere initially seemed seedy, the crowd filled out almost exclusively with tourists, and the fights got underway. I have to say I was quite shocked when I saw the first fighters, as they appeared to be only teenagers! These are kids I would never want to pick a fight with, as the power behind their kicks was amazing. A solid Muay Thai kick is said to be comparable to being hit with a baseball bat!

Here is one of the fighters praying before his match:

There were also several intermissions between fights. Here's one featuring a ladyboy group song and dance routine:

This set of fights also featured one of the craziest things I've ever seen. Three fighters were led into the ring together, along with a referee. At first I didn't understand why there were three fighters. Even less did I understand why they were wearing blindfolds. It was almost too good to be true! Was this really a three person blindfolded fight?? It was! Oh sweet mayhem and chaos! For one five minute round, these three blindfolded fighters proceeded to hammer eachother with punches and kicks. Of course being unable to see, there would often be a fighter far from the action, swinging and missing wildly at nothing. The poor referee, whose job was to guide any lost fighter back to the action, took just as much punishment as the fighters themselves. He spent most of the match trying to avoid being hit by the wild punches of the blinded fighters.

This picture cannot capture the pure mayhem, but it will have to do:

After the fights, I took a tuk-tuk back to the hotel, where dear Lisa was trying to download Skype onto the computer so she could call me. Because she often likens me to a child, she had assumed I'd gotten lost. I guess her worrying means she cares for me after all :)

Days 20, 21 & 23: Ha Long Bay, Vietnam

2011-09-22T23:24:00.004-04:00

On Tuesday we started a three-day tour of Ha Long Bay in the northeast of Vietnam. Hạ Long Bay has an area of around 1,553 km² and features thousands of limestone karsts and isles in various sizes and shapes. It's beautiful!

Ha Long Bay literally translates to "Descending Dragon Bay". According to legend, when the Vietnamese were fighting Chinese invaders, the gods sent a family of dragons to help defend the land. This family of dragons began spitting out jewels and jade. These jewels turned into the islands and islets dotting the bay, linking together to form a great wall against the invaders.

We took an almost four-hour bus ride on Tuesday morning from Hanoi to Ha Long City. Our super-sweet tour guide had a little trouble pronouncing my name, and thus, I assumed the new identity of "Mr. Laysa Hawooly" for the duration of the trip. We boarded our junk boat called the Golden Lotus and set sail. I was pleasantly surprised about how nice it was:

We joined all of the other guests for lunch on the boat, which gave us a chance to meet the other travellers on our tour who came from the U.S., France, Malaysia, Australia, New Zealand, Denmark and Korea. It was a big mix and everyone was really friendly. The fan over our table suddenly broke and shot out its blades at me. Everyone asked if I was okay, and I responded, "Ya, I'm fine. I just wet myself." There were five of us on the exact same tour, so we spent most of our time together with Len, Will and Charlotte:

In the afternoon we explored Hang Thien Cung cave, which holds a variety of stalactites and stalagmites:

And this shadow that looks like a man:

We kayaked in the evening, with only one pair from our group managing to flip their boat. The kayaks were docked at a floating fish farm. Large nets are submerged in the holes between the docks, holding the live fish inside the water -- there were several nets filled with small sharks. I wouldn't want to trip into one of those!

This was our view from our kayak just before sunset:

We spent the majority of yesterday kayaking as well, this time through tunnels in the limestone karts. It was really cool! This tunnel was full of swooping bats, much to Kevin's delight (apparently bats are his biggest fear):

The next tunnel had such a low ceiling in it that we had to lay down so we wouldn't hit our heads!:

Beyond the tunnels was a lagoon, only accessible via tunnel. It was so peaceful and beautiful! Until a snake glided across the water to our kayak! I thought it was going to come into our boat!

Our guide helpfully advised us: "Please avoid the snake." Thanks. Later we saw a gravity-defying snake crawling sideways on the wall of a tunnel. I have no idea how it hung on, but it just served as further proof of their general creepiness.

We did a lot of swimming throughout the three days. Kevin really enjoyed jumping off the roof of our boat into the water:

Once when Kevin and Will were already in the water, I stepped out onto the ledge preparing to join them, when I saw a giant jellyfish heading right towards where I was going to jump. It's tentacles were 2 or 3 m long! Needless to say, I stayed dry. Well, actually I was quite sweaty, so more accurately I just decided not to go swimming.

At night we went squid fishing. This was an unsuccessful endeavor. The idea of squid fishing sounded cool in theory, as Kevin and I had imagined heading out on choppy waters with the crew on a rickety boat, hauling in nets full of struggling squid. However, it turned out that squid fishing just meant using fishing rods over the side of our junk boat, and the squid were tiny -- much smaller than the lures we were using.

Here's our group at dinner one of the nights:

The meals were Vietnamese-style and were delicious. They were also rediculously huge, each one consisting of 7-10 different courses. For example, this is ONE meal that we had. It started with a soup appetizer:

Spring rolls:

Mussels:

Skewers:

Then a beef dish:

A chicken loaf dish:

Grilled fish:

A pork dish:

Morning glory:

And fresh fruit for dessert. We didn't go hungry there, that's for sure!

The whole Ha Long Bay experience was great. Very beautiful, peaceful, relaxing and fun! We met some really cool people and I (only) took about 400 pictures over the course of the three days! Tomorrow we're heading to the city of Chang Mai in the north of Thailand, where we'll stay for three nights. Woot, woot!

Days 18 & 19: Hanoi, Vietnam

2011-09-19T21:43:00.005-04:00

-Yesterday we took a morning flight from Ho Chi Minh City to Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam. We flew with Vietnam Airlines, which has the most unorganized check-in system under the sun. It was only a two hour flight and it took nearly as long just to check-in!

We'd read that it's really common to be scammed in Vietnam, particularly by taxis. They'll tell you that the hotel you booked has closed down or been relocated, then take you to a different hotel for a commission. Well, didn't our taxi driver do just that! He stopped and said, "Here", as a man from the (wrong) hotel came out and told us we were at the right place. We refused to get out of the taxi and eventually the driver took us to our actual hotel, where he then tried to charge us more than the price we'd agreed upon before getting into the taxi! What a skeezy weasel! Our bags were in the trunk and he wouldn't open it until we paid. Luckily the staff from our real hotel ran out to greet us and yelled at the driver. Crazy start to Hanoi! Note to self: Always be wary!

Our hotel is awesome! It's called Holiday Diamond Hotel and the staff here is super-friendly, more so than anywhere we've ever stayed before. They always greet us with a smile and ask us a million questions about what we did during the day, and they're eager to give us advice about what to do around the city. When we tried carrying our big travel backpacks into the hotel by ourselves, the receptionist laughed, telling us to leave them for the bellboy, "Or he'll have no work to do!" Our room has A/C, a mini-bar, LCD flatscreen, and a PC in it too, all for only $20/night:

After checking in, we visited Hoan Kiem Lake, which is a small lake in the middle of the city. Hoan Kiem means "Lake of the Restored Sword", which refers to a fifteen-century Vietnamese legend. The sword of the legend's hero, Le Loi, was swallowed by the golden turtle in this lake. This pavilion in the middle of the lake is known as the Tortoise Tower:

And this huge stuffed turtle, that was found in the lake, sits in a glass box inside Den Ngoc Son temple.

The area around our hotel is pretty cool -- it's more "quaint" here than in Ho Chi Minh City. The streets are smaller and lined with trees, and there aren't anymore annoying sunglasses street vendors (thankfully). There are lots of shops, including this whole street dedicated to shoe stores:

They also sell cigarettes on the side of the street everywhere, with the cartons piled high like this:

There's really no limit to what you can find on the street. For example, here's a guy getting a hair cut:

A man grilling chicken feet:

And some roasted ducks and a pig:

Yesterday afternoon, we enjoyed some beers with the locals at a bia hoi ("fresh beer") joint around the corner from our hotel. Everyone sits on miniature plastic stools and the beer is super-cheap (~$0.35). The man raising his glass spoke French to us:

Today we visited the city's largest covered market, Cho Dong Xuan. It sells everything from motorcycle helmets, to dried squid:

And here's a tuckered-out clothing vendor taking a nap in her merchandise:

Tonight we had a Hanoi specialty for dinner, called bun cha. It's small pieces of barbecued pork burgers served with rice noodles and mixed herbs:

As Kevin so eloquently put it, "It was F***ING delicious!" The restaurant, Bun Cha Hang Manh, doesn't even have a menu -- this is the only dish they make, so you can imagine how flavourful it was.

Tomorrow we're starting a three-day boat cruise in Ha Long Bay. It's well-known for its bizarrely shaped limestone isles -- we'll explore caves, and do some swimming and kayaking. Should be fun! xo

Day 17: Cu Chi Tunnels, Vietnam

2011-09-17T21:12:00.002-04:00

Today we did a tour of the the Cu Chi Tunnels. This underground network of tunnels was made and used by the Viet Cong during wartime, and in 1965 the tunnels were really narrow -- as small as 80 cm X 80 cm. There were 250 km of tunnels crisscrossing Cu Chi and the surrounding areas. Today 100 m of tunnel remains open at Ben Dinh for tourists, and they've been widened to allow for "larger" Westerners. Originally there were three levels of tunnels, which included meeting rooms, hospitals, kitchens, etc. Here's a model of how they looked:

They were very cleverly designed! If enemies tried to flood the tunnels, the water drained out into the river. Smoke from the kitchen was diverted well away from the actual cooking area through a series of bunkers, preventing enemies from detecting where they were hiding. Entrances to the tunnels were covered by wooden lids covered with leaves, and rigged with mines in case someone unwelcome tried to enter.

It was all pretty incredible!

Before we entered the tunnels, our guide jokingly warned us that "big size" people should enter last, because they'd "only have a one-way ticket." The 100 m long tunnel has various exits throughout, but Kevin and I decided that we were going to go through all 100 m. Seconds after actually entering the tiny, miniscule, petite, baby-sized tunnel, I had flashes of nightmares where I got firmly stuck in a small space, and we end up both bailing at the 15 m mark.

My heart was beating so fast and sweat was dripping off my whole body. Guess I'm more claustrophobic than I thought! It was scary how small the tunnels actually were, especially considering they've already been expanded! When we exited, we were greeted by our guide waving his hands, loudly singing, "Hello! Is it me you're looking for?" Lionel Richie-style.

We both also shot AK47s! We bought 10 bullets. Kev shot five, I shot two and freaked out, so Kevin shot the last three:

Afterward Kevin bragged, "I think I hit the target five times! I'm a good shot!" He didn't. They gave prizes to people who hit the target even twice, and no one was offering him any prizes. Still unable to accept that he had (obviously) missed, Kevin claimed that, "They must not have been watching me."

Walking through the forest moments later, Kevin struck a gun-holding pose, remarked about how crazy it would've been to have been in the war, then promptly tripped over a stump. What a soldier he would've made. All in all, it was a really memorable experience!

Tomorrow we head to Hanoi in northern Vietnam, the nation's capital. Can't wait!

Day 16: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

2011-09-16T23:23:00.001-04:00

Today we watched a traditional Vietnamese water puppet show. It's a uniquely Vietnamese art form where puppets dance on water, depicting short scenes of rural life or historical events, accompanied by musical narration. The colourful wooden puppets are attached to long, underwater poles -- which are manipulated by puppeteers standing in the water behinds a screen. It was a pretty cool, cultural thing to see!

Afterward we went back to the backpackers area of Ho Chi Minh City for dinner and drinks. I'm constantly amazed by the number of people trying to sell things on the street -- it's really excessive! Sunglasses vendors are the worst, as they'll still ask you if you want to buy some even if you're already wearing a pair, or if it's completely dark outside. The funniest was when a vendor approached a short-haired middle-aged woman, and kept referring to her as "Sir". She looked pretty surprised, and it certainly didn't gain him a sale.

A lot of vendors sell copied books, carrying around large stacks of popular bestsellers. It must be heavy! Kevin seems to have the whole haggling-a-deal thing down pretty well though. He basically listens to the asking price, counter-offers a price so low that it would insult the vendor's mother, and then they end up settling somewhere in between. He bought two books for much less than what the lady had originally asked for one book. It's pretty impressive to watch him in action! I look to him if I want to buy something, and his chest puffs up a little more each time I do.

Days 14 & 15: Mekong Delta, Vietnam

2011-09-15T23:40:00.002-04:00

Today and yesterday we did a two-day tour of the Mekong Delta. The Mekong Delta is a network of rivers and canals winding through southwestern Vietnam. It's filled with orchards, rice paddies, farms, and swampland. We left at 8:00 AM yesterday morning on a tour bus bound for Ben Tre, where we boarded a boat and cruised along the Ben Tre River. Our tour guide was really funny and sarcastic. He told us that, "Men who visit the Mekong Delta love it and never leave. Women who visit Mekong come back pregnant."

Our first stop on the boat was at a brick factory. Our driver crashed hard into another boat while docking, seriously denting the canopy roof support beam. This was the first stop of the day. What would the following stops bring? Here he is hammering out the dent without even looking embarrassed. Maybe this happens all the time?:

Bricks at the brick factory:

Next we stopped at a bee farm, where our guide asked: "Who wants to kiss the bees?":

No one volunteered. We drank honey tea, which was delicious. But there were bees flying around everywhere and they were pretty protective of their tea. We also listened to a traditional Vietnamese music performance:

The instruments sounded cool, and the guitarist in the centre was born without eyes. The female singer sounded slightly like an injured cat when she sang -- we don't know if it was intentional or not? But we've heard other women singing here using roughly the same "tone".

Afterward we headed to a coconut candy farm. When we got off the boat, our guide joked: "Okay, we just have to walk 5 km from here." The farm was interesting because we got to see the entire process from cracking open the coconuts, to grinding up the meat, pressing out the milk, cooking the candy, stretching it out into molds, cutting it into small squares, and the workers wrapping each individual candy.

We also tried coconut wine, which is 29% alcohol. Not bad!

Next we took small paddle boats to a restaurant for lunch:

Before boarding the boats, our guide asked: "Who here can swim? And who here can't swim?" After we answered him, he informed us: "The people who can swim and the people who can't swim are similar because the crocodiles can swim better than all of you." Lunch was awesome! It was fried elephant-ear fish wrapped in rice paper with noodles and vegetables:

It was tasty, and different than anything we've ever tried before. They also had the best spring rolls we've had in Vietnam -- and considering how many times we've had spring rolls here, that's pretty impressive!

We then took a bus to Can Tho, which is the largest city in the Mekong Delta. We ate dinner at a restaurant next to the canal, and we watched this HUGE boat squeeze underneath the canal bridge. It was amazing and hilarious!

We could hear it scraping the whole way through.

Today we got up bright and early to go to the Cai Rang floating market. It was truly amazing to see -- hundreds of boats buying, selling, and exchanging various fruits and vegetables. This was my favourite part of the tour!:

Next we went to a fruit orchard, and then took a bus to Vinh Long, where we briefly stopped at a fruit and vegetables market:

We got back to Ho Chi Minh City in time for dinner and $2 vodka-Redbull buckets. And to see this young boy shining shoes, while smoking a cigarette. Man they start young here!:

Days 12 & 13: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

2011-09-13T22:40:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning we went to a cafe for breakfast, and we both got omelets with hunks of baguette. The bread is amazing here because Vietnam was a French colony until the 50's, so their baking skills are superb! Next we saw the Notre Dame Cathedral:

And this sweet (dyed) mullet. It doesn't get better than this:

Then we were off to the Vietnam War Remnants Museum. What an eye-opening place that was! Outside there were various planes, helicopters and rocket-launchers. Check out the blades on this copter!:

Inside the museum we saw the tiger cages, which were tiny little cells made of barbed wire that held the prisoners of Con Son Island. The cage at the front would hold 2-3 people, while the cage at the back would hold 5-7:

There was also a lot of information about the defoliant sprays (specifically Agent Orange) that were dumped across Vietnam by the U.S., including pictures of the devastation of mangrove forests, human deformities caused by the toxins in following generations of Vietnamese families, as well as hideously deformed fetuses preserved in pickling jars. Here's Agent Orange being layed down:

Here are the U.S. troops in preparation for the spraying of toxic chemicals:

And here is a completely destroyed mangrove forest:

The whole museum was very moving and shocking.

Today we went to Cho Benh Thanh Market, which is the city's biggest market. It sells everything from T-shirts and dresses, to pig snouts and coffee beans. It was a very busy, bustling place:

Crossing traffic is the most terrifying thing here! There are rarely pedestrian crossing lights, so you simply have to run across 4-6 lanes of bopping traffic on a whim. This is the norm and everybody does it without a second thought. Motorbikes dodge the pedestrians, while transport trucks and buses honk their horns and you run the heck out of the way!

Here's a small boy who crossed much more bravely than we did:

Next are some of the other interesting sights we've seen since arriving in Ho Chi Minh City. Snake and scorpion wine:

Extremely strong old ladies:

Anything you can do, dogs can do better:

Types of food that I didn't know existed before:

Sweeping the leaves:

No need for trucks to transport mass goods:

Fuster-cluck of wires. It's literally like this everywhere:

Street vendors:

Fresh turtle anyone?:

We've booked an overnight tour of the Mekong Delta for tomorrow, so we're both really excited about that. It's a boat tour through little canals to a floating market and fruit orchards, so it should be pretty cool!

Days 10 & 11: Singapore, Singapore ~ Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

2011-09-11T23:17:00.004-04:00

Yesterday we flew out of Singapore at 7:35 AM and arrived in Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon) at 8:40 AM -- the first direct flight of our trip! We had to get our Vietnam visas stamped on arrival, and while we were waiting, we overheard a couple of (meat-head) tourists discussing theft in Vietnam. One guy said that he didn't wear his earring because someone on a motorbike would grab it while driving by, steal it, and speed off. He then warned his friend to be careful about his watch, to which his friend replied, "Don't worry, if anyone tried to steal from me, I'd beat them up. No one will try stealing from me." They then discussed how their passports would likely be stolen by the officers at customs, and they'd have to pay $300 to bribe the officers to return them. Um, paranoid much? Thankfully our passports were returned to us without incident, and we caught a taxi to our guesthouse in Ho Chi Minh City, called Thang Thuong Guesthouse.

The streets of HCMC are crazy! There's so much traffic and motorbikes truly rule the road:

While we were in the taxi, a guy on a motorbike (with his wife and baby daughter) started yelling at our taxi driver, after he ran into our taxi! He got off his bike, leaving it in the middle of the intersection, and with some serious anger in his eyes approached our car, all while yelling insanely. He flung open the taxi door and continued cursing at our driver. I've never seen such road rage! I don't think I breathed throughout the entire ordeal. Finally he left, slamming the car door as hard as he could. What an interesting start to our time here!

Our hotel is really nice! The room has A/C, a mini-bar stocked with cheap drinks, and it's clean and comfortable. We even got a welcome drink when we checked in. Kevin booked it, so of course I never hear the end of his boasting: "Yep, I think I did an excellent job. I done good." The amazing part is that it only costs $19/night. It's also located in the backpackers area of the city, so it's tourist friendly, while still feeling authentic as there are many locals in the area too.

Food and drinks are ridiculously cheap here! Meals in nice restaurants go for $1.50-$3 and beers are less than $0.50. We both tried pho (Vietnamese noodle soup) last night for the first time and it was delicious! Tons of meat in it, and very aromatic. They give you a side plate with extra herbs and bean sprouts that you can add to taste. I liked it so much that I had it again for breakfast today!

This is also only our second day here, and we've had spring rolls four times.

There are tons of street vendors here selling everything from gum, sunglasses, paper fans, and books, to cigars and a huge assortment of Zippo lighters, seen below:

A lot of the vendors are kids though, which is pretty sad. They're so young! This boy was selling flowers:

And I bought cigarillos from an 11 year-old girl. It felt wrong, but she had a really good selection!

We're planning on exploring around Ho Chi Minh City tomorrow, so that should be cool!

Day 9: Singapore, Singapore

2011-09-09T23:38:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I had woken up with what looked to be a little rash on my arms and legs. This morning it's evident that it isn't a rash at all -- our hostel has bed bugs! Ewwww! I've got hundreds of bites all over my body. I applied anti-itch ointment and counted over 400 individual bumps! The sweet little lady, Aini, who runs the hostel had the place fumigated yesterday (which she said is done "routinely"). Today we saw tons of dead bed bugs on the floor in the room, but we also saw a couple of live ones. Should they be able to survive that long after fumigation?? Anyways, I was freaking out, so we spent a good portion of today looking for another place to stay. Hotels run from $200-500 per night -- WAY more than what we can afford! And it's Friday night tonight, so other hostels are completely booked. Furthermore, we've already paid for this place and we have to leave really early for our flight to Vietnam tomorrow, so I figure I can survive another few hours in the bed bug haven tonight. Kevin, the lucky jerk, doesn't have any bites! My blood must be like filet mignon to the little buggers.

In the afternoon we went to Raffles Hotel to try an original Singapore Sling cocktail from the bar where it was invented. Assuming that Kevin had researched where the hotel was, he led the way and off we went on the metro. Turned out that Kev had just guessed where he thought the hotel should be, so we got off the subway a couple of kilometers from the correct stop. After consulting a map (finally), Kevin continued to proudly lead the way to the hotel, hitting only one dead end, all while boasting about how it was, "...such a nice night for a walk. I really nailed it!" We stopped at a food bazaar along the way for dinner and made it Raffles around 7 PM.

The bar is very "classic" looking, like something you'd see in an old movie. There were lots of people there, presumably also tourists, as everyone seemed to have a Singapore Sling in front of them. The drink was delicious! And also a steal at only $30 each. So this is how the other half lives! Here's Kevin, wearing his finest Blue Jays t-shirt to blend in with the crowd:

We returned to Chinatown for beers at our "usual" spot (with a much lower price tag than Raffles), and we're heading to bed soon since we have to get up at 5:30 AM tomorrow for our flight to Vietnam! Hopefully the bed bugs don't bite tonight!

Day 8: Singapore, Singapore

2011-09-08T22:37:00.000-04:00

We spent today on Sentosa Island, which is a theme-park island in Singapore. It's only 3x1 kilometers in size, but hosts a two-kilometre long beach, Fort Siloso, two golf courses and two five-star hotels, a massive resort, and Universal Studios Singapore. For two budgeting backpackers, this meant that there were many expensive temptations to avoid! The all-attractions island pass was $70, and admission to Universal Studios was the same price. After much humming and hawing, longing gazes at the Universal Studios entrance, and drooling over the brochure, we finally pulled ourselves away. Singapore is definitely a place for richer people than us!

As soon as we walked away from the ticket booth, we found ourselves lost in the middle of a giant resort. It was like an different planet in there, a twilight zone if you will. Big, flashy signs, huge expensive restaurants and shops -- and no indication of any exits. People probably get trapped in here for a while, aimlessly throwing their money away until they've blown their entire life savings -- at which point the resort will relinquish its control and show them an exit. "Luckily" an unnamed member of our party had diarrhea, which inadvertently brought us to a bathroom right in front of one of Sentosa's monorail stations. We took the train to the beach where we swam and suntanned -- pretty much the only free thing to do on Sentosa! And the beach was really clean with nice soft sand.

At the end of the day, we wound down on Pagoda Street in Chinatown again for some beers. I love it here!

Day 7: Singapore, Singapore

2011-09-07T21:30:00.003-04:00

I couldn't sleep too well last night due to extreme excitement about today's adventures. And was it ever a long awesome day of sightseeing!

First off, we wandered through the area surrounding our hostel, which is Chinatown. It's so nice here! There are tons of shops and restaurants, the people are friendly, and the streets are super-clean. Singapore is playfully nicknamed a "Fine" city because it's against the law to chew gum here, smoke in public, spit, litter, not flush the toilet, etc. and doing so will result in hefty fines. So I guess that helps account for the spotlessness!

I bought a new camera today (because my old one was ruined by sea water in the Philippines) from an electronics shop in Chinatown. The salesman was hilarious, making such comments as: "I'll write the bill, while you look around and find something else to buy from me.", "You are my lucky first sale of the day, so I give you free camera case.", "Because you laugh, you'll stay young.", "Because you spend lots of money, you'll stay young.", "The manual is in Russian and Mandarin, is that OK?", and "There's a message from your credit card company -- you should buy more from my shop." My new camera's better than my old one, and was cheaper, so good start to the day!

Next we visited Little India for lunch and explorations. We had masala dishes in Tekka Market, which is full of cheap hawker stands. It was delicious, but I almost died from the spicy fire in my mouth!

We headed next to probably the ritziest shopping area in Singapore, Orchard Road. There are lots of high-end stores, like Gucci, Chanel, Tiffany's, Rolex, etc.

This is a shopper's paradise (too bad we're backpacking)! Singapore is a really wealthy nation compared to the rest of South East Asia. The buildings are very modern, and general food and drink prices are probably equivalent to or higher than places in Canada, so it's completely different than anywhere we've visited in SE Asia before (like the Philippines, Thailand, etc.). The population's much more diverse than Seoul, with 74% of people being Chinese, 16% Malay, and 9% Indian. There are also many tourists and everyone seems to speak English with ease.

We walked to the Botanical Gardens at the end of Orchard Road, and on the way we saw a bar which offered two beers for $10 on Tuesdays. They called this special "Crazy Tuesdays" and it was the cheapest price for drinks we'd seen in Singapore. The problem was that we couldn't remember what day it was! We asked the waitress, and she replied: "It's 07/09/11", to which I said: "No, no, we want to know if it's 'Crazy Tuesday' today?" It wasn't. It's Wednesday. Wow, we've lost complete track of time on this vacation! We made it to the Botanical Gardens where we saw the largest free-roaming lizard we've ever seen! There were tons of cute turtles and two swans in the lake called "Swan Lake".

Exhausted after walking around the city for six or seven hours straight, we decided to catch a taxi to the subway station. Our taxi was a new Mercedes! Probably one of the only times we'll experience that in our pitiful, cheap, broke-ass lives!

We returned to Chinatown for some beers on Pagoda Street, which is a pedestrian market street. The people-watching here is most excellent! Then we had dinner at a Chinese hawker food court, where most meals go for $3-5 and are either delicious, or suspect. Luckily we lucked out!

Next on the agenda: Passing-out at the hostel. We're both completely wiped out!

Day 6: Bohol, Philippines ~ Singapore, Singapore

2011-09-07T01:15:00.001-04:00

Today was our last day in the Philippines, and we fulfilled our usual quota of eating, suntanning, and swimming before checking out of the hotel at noon.

On Saturday night (the third night of our trip) while we had been swimming at the hotel pool, we'd unfortunately been robbed 2000 pesos (~$22) from our room. The door was locked and this was the only time our wallets were out of our sight, so we figured it had to have been one of the housekeeping staff. We've been keeping careful tabs on all our spending, recording each purchase in a journal, and counting our money each day before going out. On Monday morning we discovered that both Kevin and I were missing a 1000 peso note from each our wallets. Our theory is that the clever monkey steals only a small amount that would likely go unnoticed by guests, and would have gone unnoticed by us had we not been keeping such close track of our spending. Anyways, we had immediately spoken to the receptionist on Monday morning, who told us to return later to talk with the evening supervisor. This "super"-visor made it perfectly clear that she thought we were full of crap. She said: "This has never happened in all 7 years I've been working here. I trust my staff." and "We found a broken glass on your patio, so we think you were drunk that night." What a compassionate butt-sniffer.

Well, today when we checked out of the hotel, the morning receptionist was much nicer and gave us a 1000 peso discount on our room costs. So in the end, we're only out 1000 pesos. Better than what we'd been expecting!

We then took a taxi to the airport at 2 PM, flew out of Tagbilarin at 4:55, had a stopover in Manila, then arrived in Singapore at midnight. We took a shuttle bus directly to our hostel (very convenient!), arriving at Fernloft (Chinatown) at 1 AM. Everyone in our 8-person room is sleeping, so we're going right to bed. Zzzzzzzz

Days 4 & 5: Bohol, Philippines

2011-09-05T21:36:00.000-04:00

We awoke yesterday to a parade of ants, marching to and from Kevin's empty Coke glass on the floor of our hotel room. Upon discovering the free feast, they must have sounded their trumpets, hailing ants from each corner of the island to invade and conquer. They were everywhere, hundreds of them, a plethora of swarming soldiers on a mission. That is, until Kevin performed his insane jumping massacre, smooshing them beneath his barefeet, crushing almost every last one of them Riverdance-style. I've never been so proud, and yet so unattracted to him before this moment. Imagine someone stomping grapes, while on speed.

Today, we had a long day of touring Bohol. First stop was the "Chocolate Hills":

They are made of limestone and were created millions of years ago when all the area was covered by water. During the dry season here, the vegetation turns brown and they ressemble chocolate drops. There are apparently 1776 of them. They were a cool sight to see!

We also visited a butterfly conservatory today where our funny tour guide explained that butterflies mate for 24 hours straight, and that the males don't even need Viagara. He also said they've had several "gay" butterflies at this conservatory, which are half male and half female appearance. Finally, he told that we'd get to see the biggest butterfly on Bohol, which was true:

Next on our tour was my favourite part, the Tarsier Sanctuary! Tarsiers are one of the world's tiniest primates and they're SO cute! They have huge saucer-like eyes that are fixed in their heads, so instead they rotate their heads 180 degrees to see all around. They're fuzzy and have hamster-like ears. In pictures, I thought they looked to be about the size of a human head, but in reality the full grown adults are only the size of a fist:

Afterwards, we went on a floating restaurant for a buffet lunch. We cruised the Loboc River while eating and listening to music:

We stopped along the river and watched a traditional Filipino dance called Kuradang, which is a folk dance of the Visayan people:

Tonight is our last night on Bohol, I'm sad to leave! We had another great dinner on the beach of grilled red snapper and vegetables to celebrate an amazing time here. When the food arrived, I tried to sprinkle some salt on it, and the cap of the salt container promptly fell off, saturating my veggies with a mountain of sodium. Yum!

After dinner, we saw a cute little Filipino boy playing in the sand, picking it up and watching it drop down through his fingers. Kevin couldn't resist the urge to mock him, saying, "What a stupid kid, doesn't he realize how gravity works?" Kevin then picked up a handful of sand himself and dropped it in demonstration. The wind blew it right into my face and mouth. Boy, I'm lucky to have him around to teach me these things!

Tomorrow we fly out at 4:55 PM en route to Singapore. We can only hope that it's at least half as fun as the Philippines have been!

Days 2 & 3: Bohol, Philippines

2011-09-03T19:45:00.001-04:00

Ahh, the lazy life. Sloths are less lazy than we've been the last two days. Newborn human babies have likely accomplished more than us. In less time. It didn't take too long to get into "vacation-mode". Really after one day we're essentially in the swim, eat, nap, drink, nap cycle. The food here's awesome, they have tons of noodle dishes and fruit shakes, and I'm usually so full after chugging a fruit shake (I can't for the life of me drink a shake slowly -- I'm averaging 45 seconds to get one down) that I can't finish the noodles.

After lunch yesterday, we went snorkelling at a coral reef next to Balicasag Island. It was gorgeous - the water was perfectly clear and we saw many "Nemos".

Then we went to Virgin Island where I found a sweet sea urchin hat!

Three was really cool natural sand bar at Virgin Island. I've never seen anything like it!

Back on Bohol, we enjoyed another grilled dinner on the beach. The hospitality staff are so polite and friendly here - nicer than anywhere else in Asia we've been! Everyone also seems to be completely fluent in English as well, which is why I was surprised (at first) to be referred to as "mom" by a beaming, toothy-grinned Filipino man when I entered his shop. Did I look pregnant?? I gave him an awkward smile and said, "Uh.... hi?", as I walked by. But in retrospect, I more than likely actually gave him more of a raised-eyebrows skeptical staredown as I hurried by. When he said "Thank you, sir," to Kevin when we left the store, I realized I'd mistaken his "ma'am" for "mom" and tried to smile extra-huge as a plea for forgiveness.

Day three has pretty much been the same deal, which our primary feat having been excessive sweat drippage. I've come to realize that Kevin is incapable of making even a moderately-fast restaurant choice. I'm trying really hard to relax and let him pick the restaurant of his choosing. I mean it's our vacation and I, of course, want him to have as much input as me. But it's been difficult because he'd sooner circle the whole island three times before actually deciding on something! Furthermore, he won't even pause to look at menus, just continuing forward, bee-lining towards nothing. I'm usually trailing a solid 10 feet behind him, trying to keep up, while sweating profusely. Yesterday, I tried to casually mention that he seems to over-think where we'll eat, hoping that today his behaviour would change. Nope. Another day, another wild goosechase. Passing on many rustic, authentic-looking Filipino Eateries, he settled on a completely deserted place, void of any customers. Nowhere near the beach, with unfriendly staff. He seemed proud of his choice though, and the food was good, so all's well that ends well!

Day 1: Bohol, Philippines

2011-09-01T23:56:00.001-04:00

Our adventure started today with the alarm going off at 4:10 AM. Brutal. After two presses of the "snooze" button, we were up and packed, and out to catch the airport bus by 4:40. It was the first bus of the day and there was already a group of people waiting when we got to the bus stop. The bus pulled up, already packed, with only two empty seats remaining. Three years of living in Korea, (the land of constant pushing, throwing of elbows, and launching of handbags to forge one's path through crowds) had hardened us and alas we were able to take our sweet revenge! Without hesitation, Kevin swooped past the clump (I can't say "line" because Koreans don't seem to know how to stand in line) and snagged one of the seats. Heart pounding, I sped in behind him, breezing past the surprised onlookers and took the last remaining seat. It felt good. Real good. The other people in the clump either had to stand in the aisle of the bus for the hour-long ride, or wait for the next bus. We had just won the most important race of our young lives.

We arrived in Manila, Philippines around 10 AM for a short stopover before catching our connecting flight to Tagbilaran on the island of Bohol. It was raining in Manila, but we were happy to find perfect sunny skies on Bohol. Our hotel is right on the Alona Beach and it's beautiful! Can't complain about paying less than $30/night for this view!

We spent the afternoon on the beach swimming, laying in the sun, reading and napping. Big day!

Here's Kevin taking in "Happy Hour":

For dinner we had grilled fresh red snapper at a restaurant on the beach. All the varieties of seafood are on display and you can choose your own. They grilled up the entire fish and we ate it right off the bone. Fearing that we would eventually dig into some internal organs, we were relieved to discover that all the gross parts had been removed and replaced with chopped up vegetables. Delicious!

Even further impressive are the drink prices here. At a restaurant, you can get a coke, or a rum and coke, for the exact same price (ranging from $1-$1.50). At convenience stores, full bottles of rum cost only $2. Things could DEFINITELY get messy here. And they certainly did right after dinner when a bird pooped on our table, splattering its feces all over my arm. What better way to finish off our first day?

Goodbye Korea!

2011-08-31T02:56:00.000-04:00

After three great years of living in Korea, I've finally packed my bags and I'm headed back to the land of poutine and maple syrup. My final day at work was last week, and after promising myself that I wouldn't let my students see me cry, I sobbed like a giant baby in front of each class. I've taught many of the same kids all three years in a row, so it's been an emotional month to say the least. I can't believe I'm leaving!

Fortunately, Kevin and I have planned a six and a half week trip through South East Asia, which is helping to take my mind off of the pains of saying goodbye. Tomorrow we'll be flying to the Philippines, and from there we'll move on to Singapore, Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, Hong Kong, and then finally head back to Canada. I'm so excited!

Today we had our last Korean adventure. We shipped home six boxes of stuff to Canada -- two were Kevin's and four were mine. With a 20 kg weight restriction on each box, Kevin's were packed modestly, weighing in at around 10 kilos each. Each of my boxes was literally on the verge of bursting, all weighing in at over 18 kgs -- one was 19.5 kgs! I honestly don't know how I managed to accumulate so much stuff. We borrowed a push-cart to transport the boxes to the post office. Aside from forgetting the cart at the post office when we were finished, the mailing process went without any major hitches.

I didn't have my camera on me, but here is a (rather impressive) picture I made to show how it appeared:

Notice how one box teeters dangerously as the cart gets stuck in a pothole. Also notice how overpacked my boxes were. However, don't notice how my role in the transportation was so mininal that I'm not even in the picture.

So, now we're packed and ready to go! We fly out at 7:30AM tomorrow, and arrive on Bohol Island in the Philippines at 1:30PM. We've booked a bungalow-style hut on Alona Beach. Can't wait! I'll update again after we arrive! xoxo

English Speaking Contest

2011-08-24T11:17:00.002-04:00

Once a year I'm required to judge an English speaking contest at my elementary school. Students have the freedom talk about any subject ranging from their hobbies and interests, to their families and how bad their mother's cooking is.

The contest is actually quite impressive because some students put a lot of effort into organizing their thoughts, correcting their grammar, and memorizing their speeches word-for-word. There's a lot of pressure for them to do well and they all seem really nervous. Some students just freeze like a deer in the headlights mid-performance, completely forgetting their lines. A couple of students literally ran away mid-speech. Out of the auditorium. I still don't know where they went. And it's always absolutely heartbreaking to choose winners because the students are so adorable, and I know they all tried really hard. On the other hand, there are usually a couple of kids who simply throw their ideas into an online Korean-English translator and recite whatever garbled mess pops up.

This blog post will focus on the former type of speech, as I wanted to share some excerpts from my favourite / cute / clever / hilarious scripts. (Keep in mind that these are direct quotes from various scripts, including spelling errors and all.)

Family-related speeches:

"My mother is the boss in my family.
Once she starts to yell, I can't move as if I am frozen by ice.
However she easily melts my heart with a delicious food."

"Father's character is like the ant. He works very hard every day."

"At our house, my mom usually cooks [...]
Mom tries very hard and her food is really good. But actually, I think my dad is a better cook [...] When dad cooks, there are no vegetables. It's great!"

"My grandmother cooks very well. She annoys us many times with spanking my heap and it's very painful. I know my brother and me are apples of her eyes. So she does it just because she enjoys seeing our reactions. But sometimes when she spanks my heap I am annoyed [...] My younger brother is very naughty. Sometimes he tells a lie like shepard boy."

"First, I will tell you about my father.
He is a bit fat because he likes to eat at night [...]
Now I will tell you about my sister.
She is 17 years old and goes to Young Shin High School.
she often makes me go on errands and shows temper to me.
But She buys me snacks and ice cream very well."

"My mother is a housewife. And she has second grade in Taekwondo so I have to listen to her well. Or I could be in danger."

"I'm very cute and pretty."

A sad truth about many Korean families:

"I wish my dad could spend more time with me. I know he is busy. I know he loves his job. But I still wish he could have time for me.
My dad has to travel often for work. Sometimes he goes to Japan and Oman. Then he brings us lots of gifts.
But I don't need anymore gifts. I want to go to Japan with my dad. Maybe we can go to Disneyland in Japan. Or maybe we can eat yummy Japanese food. But my dad says I can't go with him.
My dad works on Saturdays, too. Then on Sundays, he is too tired. He sleeps all day long. Sometimes, we go out to eat in the evening. I really like those times. My dad asks about my school and friends. Then it is already Monday.
Sometimes I don't even see my dad all day.
Dad, I wish you could work less. I miss you at home. Mom misses you, too. We know you have to work hard. But please, spend more time with us."

Fatness is not a serious problem:

"Good afternoon everyone. My name is Hyun Wook. I am in the third grade. I am the tallest in my class. And I am fat as you can see. So sometimes my friends make fun of me. When they befool that I am fat, sometimes it makes me angry, especially when my mood or condition is not good, but not all the time. Actually I think my fatness is not serious problem. As I said I am the tallest and I am growing up more and more. And I don't have unbalanced diet. I like everything from vegetable to meat without any favoritism for food. I am happy when I have food. So for me meal times is one of the happiest times. When I went to see a doctor, he said my fatness is not serious and it will become my height later. So I don't have any stress for that. Only what makes me angry is the fact my friends make fun of me no matter whether it's about my fatness or other things.
Because I know how it makes someone sad or stressful to be mocked by friends, I try not to make fun of others. As I don't have any unbalanced diet, I am easy going person to people. And I am very manly. Because I am big I can help my friends when they carry heavy things and I can protect weak friends from bad friends.
My dream is to be a good president, not just a president. Good president is the one who helps others, especially weak and poor people. My fatness helps me practice to help others. And when my fat turns to height, I will be stronger than before and be able to help others more and more.
When I run for president in the future, please remember me. And if you think I deserve to be a good president, give me your vote. Thank you for listening to me."

Well, I think my students are pretty clever ~ ^^
Miss everyone back home so much! xoxo

I Hereby Declare that Squatters are Superior to Western Seated Toilets

2010-08-26T02:27:00.008-04:00

Whenever the topic of Asian squat toilets come up, I am faced with an array of horrified comments and questions from my Western friends and family, such as:
- That’s disgusting!
- How do you keep your pants out of the line of fire?
- Have you ever had an ‘accident’ while using one?
- How can you possibly show your face in public again afterwards?

Now, I’ll be the first to say that sure, at first squat toilets seem weird. And yes, I have peed on my own foot 1 or 3 times. Perhaps it does seem a bit primitive to squat over a hole in the ground. But haven’t you ever been camping in the woods? Or really had to go while driving down a country road?

Truth be told, after two years of getting accustomed to pulling my pants and undergarments down around my knees (to avoid peeing on them), and squatting over these “feared” squat toilets, I’ve actually grown quite comfortable using them. And I hereby rank them FAR superior to Western toilets.

The reason for this blog entry is that I am currently in the Toronto Airport, and minutes ago, I decided to take one last pee before getting on the plane back to Seoul. My last pee on Canadian soil for one-full year. A pee to be remembered, one might say if they were overly sentimental. It’s also a 20 hr flight (including stopover), so it seemed like a decent idea.

Inside the airport, they have these fancy Western toilets. The kind that “senses” when it’s time to flush so you don’t have to raise a finger after you’re done. The snooty kind that likely deems itself superior to other “regular” flush toilets. The kind that probably pokes fun at the foot-pedal activated Korean-style squat toilets in the schoolyard.

The "Fancy" Flush Toilet:

Anyways, the first toilet I approached in the washroom had dozens of water droplets scattered over the span of the entire seat, so I tried the next two available stalls. Same deal – wet – but they both had hundreds of droplets on their seats. So I resorted back to stall number one. After a good drying of the seat, I settled myself down only to hear the automatic flush kick into gear, spraying my butt with a shower of toilet water. Great! I turned my head to curse at the flusher sensor, and my movement apparently set off the sensor again, bringing with it a second spewing of toilet water drops all over my rear. Starting to get slightly irritated at this point, I slid a little farther away from the wall and tried to pee while remaining perfectly still. I believe that the sensor actually smelled my fear and annoyance, as the toilet started flushing yet again, this time soaking my ass and lower back! By now I was definitely pissed off. My butt cheeks were literally dripping with toilet water and I hadn't even had the chance to pee a drop yet. I opted then to evacuate and wait it out till I boarded the plane. I reached for the toilet paper to dry off my saturated tush, which obviously set off the mother f’ing flusher again. It couldn’t be stopped! I reached one hand back against the wall to cover the sensor while I fumbled for tissue with the other. Obviously, this was unsuccessful. I had one cheek partially dried off when the stupid flusher erupted again. Finally, this situation ended when I resolved to just stand up, soaking wet, with my body pressed up against the door of the washroom stall, drying myself completely out of range of Super Jet 2000.

Honestly, I’ll never complain about squatting over a hole again. Research has revealed that squatting - not sitting - is a more natural and comfortable position to empty the bowels. And also, who really wants to sit on the porcelain throne of a wet-assed king?

Mess Made by the Flush-Bandit:

Time is Never Wasted When You're Wasted All the Time

2009-09-04T02:24:00.009-04:00

I mentioned in an earlier post that public drunkenness is fairly common here in Seoul. After some more consideration, I might even go so far as to say it's encouraged, if not possibly a requirement of being a Korean citizen. There's a chance that in my year here, I've just always been in the right place at the right time and simply happened to witness an obscene number of spectacular displays of alcohol-induced obliteration due to a series of lucky coincidences. This could have given me an entirely inaccurate perception of the frequency of drunkenness here. But I somehow doubt it.

This post is dedicated to my Top 5 Favourite Displays of Public Drunkenness that I've seen in Korea to date.#5 - Was the young Korean woman who puked on the floor of the subway car right in front of me. Each time the subway slowed to a stop, inertia worked its magic by spreading the vomit around. Furthermore, this occurred during rush hour, so the subway was packed and people kept stepping in the puke. Korea's famous for its seafood, so you can imagine how lovely the aroma of this regurgitation was.

#4 - Slightly more favourable at #4 was the man lying on his back in the metro station, peddling an invisible bicycle. No additional explanation needed.

#3 - In third place was the drunken performance put on a by a fellow ball hockey member, who shall remain nameless in order to protect any dignity that he has left. The league held an international tournament earlier this year, with teams coming in from Tokyo and other major Korean cities. At this tournament, nameless started drinking vodka before 11 AM and was absolutely annihilated by our 2 O'clock game. At one point during the game, the ball and all players were in the offensive end, but nameless was running/prancing around by himself in our end - blissfully unaware of the game that he appeared to accidentally be a part of. We tried repeatedly yelling his name to sub him off, but the vodka must have deafened him as well as blinded him, as he was completely unable to hear us. No one could catch his attention. During a fluke situation when nameless happened to be close to the play, his offensive tactic was to throw his hockey stick in the general direction of the ball. I don't even want to get into a description of him teaching some 5 year-old Korean boys how to play baseball after the game... his "skills" didn't compare to theirs though.

#2 - In at favourite drunk person #2 was the Korean business man (wearing a full suit, tie, and dress shoes) who was passed out on the subway, clutching his briefcase. He was sprawled out on the floor of the car in front of the door, so other passengers had to step over him to get on and off the train. When we reached the end of the line, the train turned off all of its lights, and everyone started exiting the subway. Some nice citizens dragged the man out onto the platform, leaving him and his briefcase in a crumpled pathetic pile on the platform floor.

#1 - And finally the #1 public drunken display that I've seen since coming to Korea happened in my own neighbourhood. I walking home and saw a man standing on top of a set of stairs in front of a local restaurant. Suddenly, he teetered and fell off the staircase, smashing his head on a parked car. He managed to get up but I suspect that more than a few brain cells were lost during the incident based upon the huge banging sound - and the dents left on the car and the man's head (kidding).

So, in conclusion, I have seen many harmless displays of public drunkenness since arriving in Korea, and I chose to write this post because each incident I described made me smile when it happened. Speaking of drinking, it's Friday night and I should start getting ready to go out for dinner and drinks - gombae! xo

Goin' Balls Deep

2009-06-16T02:45:00.010-04:00

In January, I heard about a ball hockey league in Seoul called "Canada Ball Hockey in Korea" (CBHK) comprised mostly of Canadian guys. It sparked my interest because I was looking for an activity to keep me in shape, and bodybuilding wasn't really taking off for me. I carefully examined the facts:

1. I had zero hockey experience,

2. I'd be one of the only girls in the league, and

3. It was doubtful that I'd find another place on earth where I could look more like an inadequate arse on a weekly basis.

So I signed up. There were a couple of "fun" games of pick-up played before teams were determined by way of a draft. Out of approximately 80 players, I can't recall exactly which number I was chosen at, but it was definitely in the 70's. I officially entered the CBHK league onto a team called the Warthogs (with an inflated ego intact).
I found out later on in the evening that the reason I wasn't the very last player drafted in the league was due to my phone number's alcoholic reference: SOJU-BEER. I may not be an all-star hockey player, but I can certainly drink, so I made it my personal goal not to let the Warthogs down in that respect - the pledge of a true team player.

Now fast-forward to June. Our team played 30 games throughout the season, with a whopping 8 wins. I don't want to say that I'm the reason for our lack of success, but when I missed two games, we won both. The Warthogs had a lot of heart though, probably more than all the other teams, and most of us made a point to socialize with each other outside of hockey.I met some really great people.
The spring season concluded with a final tournament, during which I blocked a shot on net with my eye. It really hurt. In a surprising turn of events, the Warthogs came in dead last in the tournament. However, we did win several awards for our efforts throughout the season. Some particularly impressive trophies included: "Top Drinking Team", "Top Individual Drinker", and "Top Cherry Picker". Even though the stats don't prove it, we had a great season and a lot of fun. Assuming that I get drafted, I look forward to playing again this Fall!

Time to Thai One On

2009-02-04T19:56:00.027-05:00

So it's been a couple of hours since I last updated my blog. Okay, months, but who's counting? To the faithful followers who have diligently checked my blog every minute of every day in anticipation of a new entry, I'm sorry that you have nothing better to do. But in all seriousness, not updating in such a long time has made me feel like a tremendous failure at life, and today I have decided to step out of the gutter of unsuccessfulness.

In January, I went to Thailand for a week with my Canadian friend, Kate. This blog entry is a journal of said voyage. It's loooong and detailed so brace yourself. If you have to use the bathroom, go now. You might want to grab a snack too. I know I'm going to.

Lisa and Kate's Great Thailand Adventure

Day 1 - Friday January 23, 2009 ("The Dream" Takes Off)

Today Kate and I left Korea en route to a hotter place - a place entirely void of the dangers of black ice caused by spit on the sidewalk. Thailand. We booked our plane tickets only 2 weeks ago, so I didn't have the chance to get sick and vomit in excitement like I usually do before a big vacation. I'd be better off if every trip I took was a complete surprise. This morning, I quickly reviewed my "To Pack" list before going into work:
passport, (check)
bathing suit, (check)

toothbrush, (check)
47 outfits that I couldn't possibly wear in one week, even if I changed five times per day (check)

It looked like I was pretty much set, so I ran off to teach an 8-hour day of school. I finished at 5 pm and had to catch the bus to Incheon Airport at 6:30 pm. I rushed home with just enough time to grab my suitcase and a leftover burrito that I had in the fridge from margarita night. A coworker and my principal had given me directions to the bus terminal, but they were sketchy at best. Consequently my explanation to Kate about how to get there was far below adequate. After wheeling my monstrous rolling suitcase onto the subway, through transfers, up and down escalators (including the same one thrice - hey, I got lost), and lugging the heavy bastard up huge staircases, I eventually found my way to the terminal and called Kate on my cell phone to confirm her whereabouts.
Me: "Hey, so are you almost here?"
Kate: "Ya, I'm here! I'm on the platform, and I can see the trains."

I looked around the bus terminal and my heart sank. There were definitely no trains in the vicinity. Where the hell was she?! We stayed on the phone together as I somehow managed to talk her all the way to the bus terminal. I heard much swearing on her end, especially when she encountered the escalator intended for miniature elves that I had struggled through moments earlier, but finally we were united and headed to catch our express bus to the airport. We boarded with only a minute to spare. It was 6:29 pm and the bus was packed. Here's a picture of me having a heated fight over seats with some of the many other passengers.

Our plane took off at 9:15 pm, and before we knew it, we had the taste of Heineken in our mouths instead of the regular ass flavour of Korean "Cass" beer. This was the point at which we started "living the dream" - the (in hindsight, somewhat lame) slogan of our adventure. Day 2 - Saturday January 24, 2009 (Speed Bump in "the Dream")

We arrived at Bangkok Airport at 1:05 am Thai time this morning (it was a 5hr 50min flight). Kate couldn't have appeared more thrilled at the baggage claim.

We took a taxi from the airport to Khaosan Road, which is a popular tourist/market/bar street in Bangkok. We hadn't booked a hotel room beforehand, as that would've made too much sense, so we found ourselves searching for a place to stay during the wee hours of the morning in one of the biggest party areas of the city. On the positive side, the weather was warm and humid, which was a welcome change from the glacial temperatures of winter in Seoul, and trash was piled up on the street, in true landfill site fashion. Wait... the pictures on the Internet had looked a little different - this wasn't exactly what we had been expecting. But nonetheless, we wheeled on, dodging drunk people, puddles of puke, and the occasional prostitute. We were not about to let "the dream" slip through our fingers. My hope wavered briefly when the first four guesthouses we came by had "Full" signs prominently displayed at the front desks. It faltered again when Kate's bag cemented itself to a garbage speed bump. But finally we rolled our way into the Center Place Plaza Hotel where we found a decent room at a decent price. Since there was no elevator, a sweaty little man carried both of our ridiculously overloaded suitcases up the stairs to the fourth floor. Our room isn't quite the Ritz, but the bugs seem content here. Kate and I passed out quickly together in our shared double bed.

In the morning, we went for breakfast and were pleasantly surprised to see how clean, bright and friendly Khaosan Road is during the daytime. Hardcore cleaning crews had expertly removed all signs of the the previous night's dumping ground and vomitfest. Happy tourists and Thai people alike were fluttering around, and the sun was hot and beautiful. Vendors were set up along the length of the street selling everything from clothes, handbags and jewellery, to tobacco accessories and novelty rubber frogs that stick out their tongues when you squeeze them. What more could you ask for?

As we were eating, who do we see walking by but our Seoul friend, Joseph 'the Breeze' Brzezinski! As a former teacher in Thailand for four years, Joe was able to help us more in 20 minutes than any travel guide or Wikipedia article could have. Before we knew it, we had planned the rest of our week and bought inexpensive bus and ferry tickets to the Thai island, Koh Pha-Ngan. Amazing.

Kate and I spent the majority of our day shopping until we dropped, and perfecting our bartering skills in the Thai markets. Almost every vendor asks for well over the actual price, and Kate and I are cheap-asses, so our haggling learning curve was impressive.

We also rode on tuk-tuks for the first time today. These are 3-wheeled taxi scooters driven by lunatics who are oblivious to speed limits and don't believe in following the direction of traffic. During one of our death rides, the tuk-tuk driver stopped in front of a clothing store. He motioned for us to go inside it, saying "10 minutes, 10 minutes". Was this going to be a fashion show? we wondered optimistically. That could be fun! Or were we being set up for a rape? Puzzled, and shaken from several near-fatal tuk-tuk maneuvers, we staggered into the building. Apparently the tuk-tuk companies have some rather unusual deals with suit-shop owners. Drivers get coupons for gasoline in exchange for having their passengers spend 7-10 minutes inside the store being hassled to purchase custom-tailored suits. Having never owned, let alone even worn a suit before, this equated to 10 awkward minutes of pretending to admire silks while eager salespeople kept asking "You like?". Kate made herself at home in this hot-pink fur number, which she's clearly a damn fool for not buying.

Later we went to Bangkok's Central Mall in search of a rumoured La Senza store. Have you ever been to a mall with 8 floors before? If I worked there, I would be late everyday because I'd never be able to find the store I was employed at. The labyrinth of illogically placed escalators between each floor was bewildering. In the end, almost every store known to man existed at that mall, except for La Senza. But it was a cool mall anyways. Our tuk-tuk driver on the way back to the hotel provided us with yet another narrow escape from death that we had been hoping for. The words "reckless", "daredevil", and "excitable pervert" only begin to scrape the surface of a description of this guy. Firstly, he extended us multiple offers to go see a "ping pong show" with him, and his eyes lit up each time he said it. If you're unfamiliar with this term, ping pong shows are a popular branch of the Thai sex industry. To sum up a ping pong show in one sentence: a woman shoves an object (or multiple objects) up her vagina (such as ping pong balls, a whistle, darts, or even a live goldfish or frog), and then uses her pelvic muscles to shoot the object back out again. Good old family fun. It doesn't stop there though. Sometimes the classy lady will aim the dart at a balloon, or fire the goldfish into a bowl. Surely a potential Olympic event. Our courteous and generous tuk-tuk driver seemed disappointed that we weren't interested in accompanying him to one of these posh displays, but no one could accuse him of being a quitter as he turned back to ask us "Ping pong show?" at each stop in traffic. Then he'd speed off like a madman again. At one point, as we were swerving dangerously between cars on the relatively unknown "third" lane invented by our driver, I asked him if he'd ever been in a tuk-tuk accident. Without hesitation, he responded "Yes", and then motioned to indicate a roll-over. Wonderful. Then he gunned it again, spurred on by our nervous laughter.

Later that night, we met up with Joe and a couple of his Slovenian friends to do some Bangkok bar-hopping. The Slovenians were easily identified by their matching, custom-made Slovenia/Thailand T-shirts. Apparently they had both made enough copies of the same T-shirt in various colours to sport one each day of their vacation. Why hadn't Kate and I thought to do the same thing? Live and learn.

Day 3 - Sunday January 25, 2009 (Riding Dirrrty)

Joe brought us for breakfast to a Thai food street stand and it was absolutely delicious. In Korea, the meals are hit and miss. Some meals seem okay until you uncover slimy fish intestines in your soup, or find yourself gnawing upon a camouflaged octopus tentacle. In Thailand every meal is fantastic. I've already eaten pad Thai numerous times, as well as several other dishes and salads, and have yet to be disappointed. Eating excessively has escalated into an alarmingly frequent ritual on this trip. I'm talking 5 or 6 meals per day on average - beach bodies, here we come! After Joe conversed in fluent Thai with a nearby Thai woman, and told her that Kate, Joe and I were part of a threesome, we boarded a canal taxi and headed to J.J. market. It's the biggest market in Bangkok with more than 5000 stalls, and it covers over a square km of space. They're not kidding around with the shopping here. It was magnificent. They even had a whole stand devoted to hamsters. Great day.

At around 5 o'clock, Kate and I headed back to get our luggage from the hotel and catch our "6 o'clock" bus to the island, Koh Pha-Ngan. I say the time "6 o'clock" loosely because the bus didn't actually leave Bangkok until after 8 pm. But regardless, when the bus finally arrived (following 2 hours of relentless mosquito attacks in the parking lot), Kate and I boarded in anticipation of a joyful 15 hour trip to the island. I'd love to tell you that we slept peacefully overnight within the comfortable and spacious coach and woke up feeling refreshed and rested in the morning. I'd also love to tell you that we weren't sitting behind the single most sweatiest, B.O.-ridden man on the whole bus, and in front of the whiniest complaining couple in all of Asia. But unfortunately I'd be lying if I told you either. To further increase our intense relaxation on this tranquil voyage, the male whiner behind us took it upon himself to rest his stanky feet in between our heads. Aww, what a sweetheart. In an attempt at optimism, Kate and I tried to see the bright side of the situation:

"Maybe if we tuck our noses inside our shirts and breathe through our mouths, we can get some shut-eye for a few hours."

Even that charming illusion was shattered and thrown into the trash as the bus proceeded to make several unnecessary 2 hour stops along the way. Without any explanation, we were forced to get out and sit in random bus stations in the middle of nowhere while the bus sat empty and locked up in front. This diminished any remote chance of a solid slumber. I once managed to drift off to sleep at a picnic table in a pool of my own drool, but the clock struck 3:17 am, and it was back onto the bus for no obvious reason. Thoughts of the beach and of men in Speedos were all that was keeping the dream alive, until...

Monday January 26, 2009 (The Party Chapter - Living the Dream)

Our luck changed when we finally made it to the ferry port. We had the good fortune of a 2 hour sleep on luxurious cement. Imagine 50 people passed out on hard concrete, using their luggage as pillows. When we finally boarded the boat at 8 am, Kate and I consumed a nutritious breakfast of sour cream and onion chips, choco-chip/sawdust cookies, and cups of tea (the breakfast of champions). Two hours later, we arrived at the Koh Pha-Ngan pier. Dragging my suitcase as well as the bags under my eyes, we rolled our way to shore in search of transportation to our hotel. Sea View Bungalows was on the other side of the island on Haad Rin Beach, and to be on the safe side (for the first time this entire trip, I might add) we had prepaid for a room while we were in Bangkok. We would soon grow to regret this decision immensely.

But back to getting a taxi or bus. I worriedly asked Kate: "Do you think we'll be able to find a ride?"

Kate answered apprehensively: "Hopefully it'll work out..."

At that precise moment, a smiling little Thai woman appeared before our eyes like an angel sent from above. She was carrying a "Taxi - Haad Rin" sign in her hands and she enthusiastically led us to the back of a pickup truck. So this was our taxi. We shared the ride with a couple of couples who were both heading to a hotel called Coral Bungalows in Haad Rin. They informed us that they had paid significantly less for their place than we had paid for ours. A fraction of what we had paid, in fact. Super duper! They were dropped off first, and we saw that their resort was gorgeous.

"Since ours cost about 3X as much, it HAS to be at least 3X better, right?" asked Kate.

Wrong. Dead wrong. Couldn't possibly be farther from right.

As Kate sat imagining the blissful shoreline, deluxe accommodations, and muscly cabana boys, the taxi drove farther and farther away from the Haad Rin Beach area, making its way down a dirt road most known for its role in horror movies. The road signs were dilapidated, and you risked losing your car in any one of the many monstrous pot holes. The "Haad Rin Seaview Bungalows" sign came into view and a it seemed like a 4-year-old had spray painted its sloppy lettering. Was it even spelled correctly? Perhaps this wasn't the palace that we had envisioned. Would there be cabana boys? We edged a little closer and an orange, sickly-looking cat ran to us from the bushes. It gave a pitiful cry as we stared in gaping disbelief at the "hotel" in front of us. Old huts were built onto the side of a mountain. Sure as hell, there was no beach, just a shoreline filled with large jagged boulders, and the woman at the reception desk greeted us in her best dirty nightgown (keep in mind that this was at 1 o'clock in the afternoon). After an understandable blow-up from Kate, we tried to contact the travel agent that we had used in Bangkok, but to no avail (fake phone number?). Upon being informed that we were the only guests at the "resort", we immediately rolled our bags back up the 90 degree incline, and took a taxi to the beach area.

Finding accommodations right on the beach was essentially effortless, aside from the challenge of wheeling our suitcases through the sand. We chose a place called Haad Rin Resort, located in the middle of the strip, and our room literally opens out onto the patio bar. It's beautiful here. Seeing the view from our door makes me question whether or not we made the right decision in leaving the mountainside rubble pile.

We explored the Haad Rin area, suntanned for a while, and then grabbed some dinner. There are tons of restaurant options nearby, and lots of little shops and boutiques here. It's an extremely cool vacation spot. The beach and bar seemed pretty calm and quiet until about 11pm when the party scene really picked up. People juggling fire were performing in front of the clubs on either side of our cabin, and ravers emerged from the woodwork to join in the festivities. Kate and I partied into the night, meeting other travellers and enjoying the warm Thailand weather. One guy we met even tried eating his own T-shirt. Thailand's a wild but wonderful place.

Tuesday January 27, 2009 (Sights, Sounds, and Explosions of Haad Rin - The Dream Dies)

Kate and I read and napped on the beach for several hours until our asses were so red and burnt that we could no longer sit or even move slightly without experiencing extreme pain. We made the executive decision today to NOT endure another 15 hour bus ride back to Bangkok when we leave in two days, so we booked a flight from Ko Sumai (the next island over) to Bangkok. Brilliant decision, constructive start to the day.

From here, productivity promptly went downhill. We had a super chill day, which is exactly what I wanted. Sun, eating, naps, eating, and sun. And likely more eating. This trip is certainly not centered around physical fitness, but I'm having a damn good time.

Feeling pretty wiped out from a day of gluttony and excessive sun exposure, we tried to catch an early night. This proved to be utterly impossible once the explosive music of the surrounding clubs got a hold of our cabin. It actually felt like the sub-woofers were under our floor as the entire hut shook with each bass beat. Another advantage to being in such close proximity to a large assemblage of ravers is that they all bring their whistles to blow along with the music. We realized too late that insulation was deemed unnecessary in the construction of our hut. There was no way that we were going to be falling asleep anytime soon. I almost lost my mind when the fireworks started. At one point I got up to go to the bathroom. When I crawled back into bed, cursing the circus outside, Kate piped up: "Oh, you forgot to turn off the light".

My retort: "Oh no, how will we ever fall asleep now?"

I glanced over at Kate to see her munching on Oreos in bed with a big frown on her face: "I'm so unhappy right now". As if in response to her complaint, another firework exploded, further compromising the limited stability of our ramshackle hut.

The party continued until 6 am when the sun rose, which is coincidentally the time that we both finally passed out.

Wednesday January 28, 2009 (The Time I Rode an Elephant and Crapped My Pants Simultaneously)

The first thing we did this morning was moved out of our resort. No discussion between Kate and I was required, it was a mutual understanding. We headed out to Coral Bungalows, which is the same hotel that other travellers we had met were staying at. It is more private because it's away from the party strip, and the rooms are cheaper and in the ballpark of about 16 times nicer than the ear-piercing loudspeaker we'd been imprisoned in. A miraculous upgrade.

In the afternoon we went on an elephant trekking expedition. The company was supposed to be picking us up at 1:45 pm in the hotel lobby for our 2 o'clock appointment, but when we got to the front desk, the grouchy receptionist told us that our taxi had came and gone a half hour earlier.

We asked her nicely: "Could you please call and tell them that we're here now? It's a local call..."

"No."

"Thanks tremendously for your help."

We ended up going elsewhere to make a paid phone call, but the taxi did return for us. Riding the elephant was fun but surprisingly frightening. I've never considered myself to be a brave person whatsoever, but I was genuinely wimpy on this excursion. Kate and I sat together on the seat/saddle on top of the huge elephant's back, while a little Thai elephant jockey straddled the animal's neck. He was armed with a pick axe. The saddle shifted with each step the elephant took, and I kept thinking that maybe we should stop and tighten the ties, but instead we just clung on for dear life. For the duration of our 30 minute trek, the elephant seemed far more interested in uprooting trees on either side of the trail than walking, but we slowly made our way through a section of jungle. A couple of times, our guide jumped off the elephant to take pictures of us, leaving us on top. Alone. Scared shitless. Panicking. Can elephants run? Have you ever seen an elephant run fast? Upon returning to solid ground, my heartbeat returned to normal again and we watched a couple of monkeys on leashes fight each other. This place has something for everyone.

That night, our resort hosted a huge pool party. Signs advertising the event had been posted around Haad Rin Beach for weeks, and the hotel was providing free taxis for all travellers in the area. In other words, the very same ravers that we had just escaped from would be making their way back to us. What luck! This time, however, our room was distanced from the amplifiers, and our walls weren't paper thin, so the situation was perfect. Partying was a last minute decision, as Kate napped until midnight, and when we hit the dance floor we ran into some other friends from Seoul who were travelling Thailand. Small world, great times!

Thursday January 29, 2009 (The Final Chapter - Short Shorts in the Airport)

Today was our last day in Thailand and the sun was dazzling. Kate and I ate several lunches, sunned ourselves, and then left the resort around 2 pm to catch the ferry to the airport. We suntanned the whole way, what a perfect way to finish our trip. The Ko Sumai airport is gorgeous - nicer than any resort I've been to. Even better than Haad Rin Seaview Bungalows with the sick, dying cat, if you can believe it.
On the plane to Bangkok, the flight attendant asked us two questions: "Water or juice?" and "Coffee or tea?" Kate and I selected secret option #3: "All of the above." At Bangkok airport, Kate and I realized abruptly that we had both neglected to stock up on the beverage that had fuelled our entire voyage - Red Bull. It's a delicious energy drink that was invented in Thailand, and is expensive to buy anywhere except for Thailand. We gathered the last of our non-Korean cash together in the airport and desperately gave the cashier handfuls of small change in exchange for the precious commodity. Thai customs officials promptly threw all of our prized Red Bulls into the garbage when we went through security. Thankfully my half-eaten Burger King chicken sandwich made it through. Still wearing my short beach shorts, Kate and I joined the crowd of pasty, pant-wearing Koreans in the terminal to head back to Seoul.

We arrived at the Korean airport around 7 am Friday morning and I had to work in the afternoon (which sucked) - but I survived. I had an awesome vacation though, and would love to go back to Thailand again... hopefully sooner than later! If you have the chance to go there - do it! If you managed to make it through this entire blog entry, I commend you. You should post a comment since you seem to have some spare time on your hands.... Miss everyone lots!! Hope you're doing well :) xoxo

Attack of the Anal Avenger

2008-11-30T04:46:00.010-05:00

There's a first time for everything, and November has been a month filled with many firsts for me. First of all firsts, and probably the most unpleasant, was having an umbrella forcibly inserted up my butt on the subway this week. Some mornings the train is nearly empty and other mornings it's busier than Walmart on sale day. On the latter days people push and squeeze into the subway cars until there isn't a square inch of extra space. The air gets thinner as the oxygen supply lowers, and with every movement of the train, people knock each other around like bowling pins. It's similar to a mosh pit, only sweatier. Well, it was raining on Thursday morning, so sopping wet umbrellas were a lovely addition to the claustrophobic situation. As soon as the regular jostling commenced, I unexpectedly found myself on the receiving end of an awkward umbrella to butt-hole interaction. At least I prefer to believe that it was an umbrella, there was a lot of jostling going on at the time. I couldn't turn around to face the anal avenger since motion of any kind was an unattainable dream, but I feel slightly taken advantage of. That's a first that I hopefully won't experience again soon. Not without some mood music and a nice bottle of wine anyways.

Another first for me this month is that I'm starting to feel like I'm really reaching my students. Some of them have been transferring the grammar and vocabulary that I've taught from one lesson to the next with exceptional accuracy and skill. I recently did a lesson on various ailments, such as headaches, sore throats, and my personal favourite - diarrhea. Imagine having 32 students repeating the sentence: "I have diarrhea". It didn't get old for me after the seventh class. The following lesson was about inviting people to come over to your house, and making responses like "Yes, I'd love to" and "Sorry, I can't because I have to study". I asked one student if he could come to my party, and his response was "Sorry, I can't. I have diarrhea." These are the moments I live for. Students will also often come and chat with me between classes. A standard conversation starter that they use is "Nice to meet you", even though I've met them about 100 times already - that's another story. But during these chats the students often put our comparatives lesson ("taller than", "stronger than", etc.) to use by telling me who is "uglier than" who in their class. Hey, as long as they're learning I'm not complaining. Though I do feel bad for the girl who always gets pegged as the "number 1 ugliest girl" in the class, she seems to take it well.

Another first for me at school is that I had to say goodbye to one of my co-teachers, Mrs. Bang, because her family is moving to another city. It was sad because I really like her - she's sweet, and funny, and not bi-polar like my other co-teacher. I decided to get her a goodbye present from a store called Skin Food, which is similar to the Body Shop at home. After I had chosen which items I wanted to include in the package, like lip balm, and body wash that contained beer, I bought them and paid the extra dollar to enter the tedious world that is Korean gift wrapping. I could honestly devote an entire blog entry to my observation of the gift wrapping process. Instead I'll write a short synopsis, followed by an optional, more lengthy version that you can choose to skip over if you want to avoid a boredom-induced coma. Short story: I could've written a book in the time that it took to wrap the present. Detailed version: I was meeting friends for dinner later that night, and I had other shopping to do, so I was on the clock. Since I was the only customer in the store, I mistakenly figured that putting all of the toiletries into a box wouldn't take more than 2-3 minutes. Perfection takes time however, and I soon found out that it could, and indeed would, take well over 10 minutes to achieve it. After constructing the gift box, the salesclerk (or wrapper-extraordinaire), lined the box with tissue paper. She then began the ridiculous task of lining up the items on top of the tissue paper. I wish I had had my camera with me to videotape this performance, it could've won awards. After everything was organized just so, she started putting more tissue paper around each of the bottles by poking it down in between them with a pair of scissors. Each poke was carefully calculated and accompanied by intense concentration and scrutiny. I imagined she was thinking: That poke wasn't quite deep enough or Less wrist, more shoulder! It was at this point that I started to lose interest and wandered away to check out the stand of caviar-filled beauty products. About 3 mins later, I returned only to find that the woman had removed each of the items from the box and was starting the entire operation again. Are you kidding me? Apparently she wasn't quite satisfied with the arrangement, so trial one was unsuccessful. I focused on breathing calmly, but couldn't erase the incredulous look on my face. After another few minutes, she was pleased (or so I thought) with the set-up, and began picking up each item individually to apply tape and securely fasten it to the tissue paper inside the box. Alas, progress! I checked my watch, 10 minutes had passed so far. I started pacing around the store, trying my best not to lose my mind. When I came back, I was praying that the package was ready for collection. I almost puked when I saw the scene at hand. This psychotic woman was in the midst of removing ALL of the items from the package again. The underlying piece of tissue paper was now shredded because of the tape being ripped off. This meant that she had to start again from scratch. I've seen birds build nests faster than this. I'm not even going to get into the ribbon step that followed, but if I ever give you a present, don't expect it to be wrapped.

A fourth first that I would like to mention in this entry is that I used my room heater for the first time in my apartment. The room heater operates using the same thermostat as my water heater, and the labels are of course in Korean. When I first came here, I was welcomed to my apartment with a freezing cold shower. I thought I was going to lose my nipples, and that was all the motivation I needed - I asked my co-teacher for directions on how to turn on the heater. In the majority of homes in Korea, you turn on the water heater only when you're using the hot water, or else it wastes too much energy. Good to know. Now that it's the end of November, the air is starting to get pretty cold. The other night my toes were suffering from mild hypothermia, so I figured that it was time to try my hand at turning on the room heater. Back to the issue of Korean labels. This is what my thermostat looks like:

At the time, I only knew that the water heater and room heater couldn't be used simultaneously. This meant I needed to flick some sort of switch or press a button to change the heat over from water to room heat. After some trial and error and shivering, I finally found the right button. Before I knew it, heat was radiating up through the floor! When you think about it, heat rises so it makes sense to have a heated floor. I quickly learned that my thermostat only has two settings though: arctic chill and scorching sauna. The sauna option is okay since I'm not a big fan of wearing pants when I'm at home, but I really must get curtains for my apartment.

Until next time, talk to you soon! xo

Vomit on the Sidewalk and Other Common Occurrences

2008-11-18T05:16:00.016-05:00

It's weird for me to think back to springtime when I was first tossing around the idea of teaching in Korea. As soon I started sharing my tentative plan, stories came out of the woodwork from various people whose "cousin's step-brother twice-removed" or "half-niece of their bank teller" had taught in Korea and really enjoyed it. Although I didn't personally know anyone with teaching experience in Korea, I doubted that the half-niece of my bus driver's bank teller would have any reason to lie. So I decided to throw my chips down on Korea and go all in. Besides enabling me to distance myself from Canadian responsibilities such as shoveling snow, or cleaning my room on a regular basis, Korea has many other benefits to offer. My housing is paid for by the school board (except for the $5 or $6 I grudgingly and painstakingly fork out each month for gas), I don't have to write report cards or do any marking for that matter, and I can see over nearly everyone if I go to a concert. Furthermore, food is fairly cheap here. Meals at most Korean restaurants go for between $3-6 on average (including beer). If Western-style restaurants are your thing, there's no shortage of TGIF's, Pizza Huts, McDonald's, Baskin Robbins, Starbucks, and Dunkin Donuts, but they run at about the same prices as home. My school has a cafeteria, so no brown-bagging it for me, and I get to enjoy such meals as mystery hashbrowns and fish meatballs for only $35 monthly. In terms of salary, it's pretty sweet to say the least. Factoring in my pension and medical insurance costs, and the extra money that I make from my six weekly "after-school" classes (that I oddly enough teach during my regular school hours), I'm taking home just over $3000/month. I'm already considering teaching a second year here. If I decide to stay, the school will pay for my return flight home so I can visit in the summer, which I'll strategically take during Korea's monsoon season. I should really work for one of Korea's recruiting agencies, I love it here so much.

Some friends have asked me about the party/night life in Korea. Concerned guardians may want to skip this portion of my blog. Drinking is a huge part of Korean culture. Countless times while in the subway station at 5pm on a Thursday or Friday I have been caught behind slow-moving drunken Korean businessmen. I can now recognize the intoxicated stagger and tell-tale reek of hootch from a mile away. Seeing vomit on the sidewalk in the morning has become so commonplace that it no longer fazes me, and passing out on the train or on benches has reached the status of "normal". Alcohol is cheaper than pop and is available at every convenience store. It's even possible to buy booze on the street in a sketchy Ziploc bag, which doesn't help curb the level of public obliteration. Here's a photo of some friends and I enjoying said sketchy street drinks:

Last call at the bars in North America is 2am. If you were to ask a Korean what time last call is, they'd give you a baffled look. I don't even think they could find "last call" in their cell phone dictionaries. Bars don't close before 6am, and I only know this because I got kicked out of one at 6am. Only once though, I'm usually in bed by 10pm on the weekends. The selection of bars is impressive too. There's everything from pubs to hip-hop clubs, and it's easy to find bars that play Western music (Justin Timberlake, etc.). Here's a picture of me at a bar called "Sub-Zero", where everything's made of ice - including the walls, stools, bar, and drink glasses:You're given a poncho and mitts when you walk in. Very cool. Baha. That was a lame comment. But the general point I'm trying to make is that Seoul does in fact have a party scene.

Fall has hit Seoul, and one of my co-teachers took me to a place called SamcheonGak to see the leaves changing colour. It was beautiful! This is SamcheonGak, complete with metal mushrooms out front:
And here are the trees surrrounding it:

Last weekend I played paintball for the first time ever in life. What a crazy fun game. I got hit on the head twice, in the back, and on the shins and legs multiple times, but the most excruciating blow was definitely the one I took to the finger. Glove-less. Son of biotch that hurt. It took me one round to get into the game, but after that I was a maniac on the course. Loved it. Here's a pic of me surrendering after my finger received the fatal hit:

Anyways, I'm still enjoying myself in Korea-land. I miss everyone lots.... or at least most people. Haha. Hit me with comments! xoxo

What If I Start Forgetting to Wear Pants?

2008-11-06T04:09:00.009-05:00

I used to consider myself smart. Or at least smarter than an empty paper bag. Now I'm starting to rethink that theory. As you know, last week I forgot my apartment key at school. It was embarassing but I suppose that it could happen to anyone who's reasonably protective of their candy drawer at work. Well, on Tuesday I pulled a moronic move sure to trump all others. My apartment building's pretty decent, and requires you to type in a passcode to get in the main doors. It's a simple 4-digit password, and I've been entering the same 4 numbers everyday for the past 2 months, sometimes several times within the same day. This would calculate to having punched it in between 70-100 times. On Tuesday my mind went totally blank when I arrived at the familiar keypad. I couldn't for the life of me remember this number. I walked around the block hoping that it would jog my memory, but nothing. How does a piece of information like this just go missing? I ended up calling my landlord, which of course resulted in him hanging up on me twice before getting his daughter who speaks English to call me and translate. I'm probably going to get evicted for stupidity. What if more facts just keep vanishing from my mind like this? What if I forget where I live, or start forgetting to wear pants? It worries me.

Another thing that concerns me is a shirt that I recently purchased. Or rather the beastly spelling attempts that were made on it:
"Here Comes the Sun" = classic Beatles' tune, one of my faves. "Nere Comfs the Sun" = aww, good try. I couldn't resist buying the sweater. It's only one of MANY misspelled shirts in Korea. I'm not claiming that I'm a perfect speller by any means, but it makes me laugh to think about how many other people are obliviously sporting "Nere Comfs the Sun" shirts throughout the country. Spelling errors aren't limited to only shirts though. Nere comfs a sign found in a subway station:

I'll be sure to use the "Oppsite" entrance or side "Wark". Thanks for the advice. No matter what kind of day I'm having, these things make me smile. I'm thinking that if I ever get tired of teaching, I could edit English somewhere. There would be no shortage of work.

I also enjoy people who wear t-shirts with English messages when they clearly have no idea what the message translates to. A perfect example was a Korean woman I saw (with dark brown/black hair) who was wearing a shirt that read: "Don't hate me because I'm blond, Hate me because I'm smarter than you!" And this is why I love Korea.

- Lisa xo

Get a Grip Hanley, Don't Be a Pansy

2008-10-28T09:42:00.016-04:00

Thursday began like every other day. After hitting the "snooze" button 3 or 4 times, and cursing the mosquitoes who had grazed on my face during the night, I rolled out of bed. Following my usual routine, I watched some Korean porn while eating breakfast. I'm astounded at how much free porn is available first thing in the morning, it's a wonder that anyone makes it to work on time. My first few days here I tried channel surfing to avoid it, but I've since realized that it's impossible to escape and have accepted the inevitable sexually explicit material each day. I'm also a fan of the plot lines. I only watch about 5 or 10 minutes of erotica each morning, so I don't get a full grasp on the entire narrative, but a recent compelling story involved a fish hut on a floating dock. A woman swam underneath the dock and stuck her head up through the fishing hole underneath the hut to angrily spy on two lovers inside the hut. I give the Koreans credit for creativity. I also recently got a hair cut, and have yet to factor in the additional time required to somewhat style my bangs before trudging off to school. Here's a picture of my new 'do:
Needless to say, I was running late on this particular Thursday. I rushed out to the subway station, and stepped onto the platform just as the subway was taking off. Perfect. Eventually I made it to my stop and sprinted outside into a fresh waft of Korean funk. This is what I have playfully nicknamed the plethora of distasteful odours that drift around the city. To my delight, I saw the bus that I take from the station to my school pulling away. This meant waiting the maximum amount of time possible before the next bus came. Things were getting better and better. I had never waited more than 5 minutes for the bus before, but it was of course a 15 minute wait this day. A crowd of people had accumulated at the bus stop by the time it finally arrived, and the standard pushing and shoving commenced as soon as the bus opened its doors. In Canada you would normally wait in line, or at the very least say "Excuse me" if you needed to get by someone, or apologize if you struck them across the face with your handbag or man purse. If these phrases exist in Korea, I have not yet heard them uttered, and the general rule of thumb while in public is every man for himself. Just try not to get thrown under the bus.

On a side note, the unspoken rules for pedestrians are very different here than at home as well. Your only job when walking down the street is to stay out of the way of cars, motorbikes and bicycles. Drivers won't hesitate to honk their horns or ring their tiny bicycle bells at you, nor will they slow down as you're sandwiched against a building trying to avoid getting struck. I think this sometimes actually makes them speed up. A friend of mine told me that he saw a man get hit by a car the other day. The man got up and apologized to the car driver!

Back to the long-winded story of my day. Miraculously, I reached my school only a few minutes late after all of the delays. It wasn't a huge deal that I was late either because the students of my school were putting on a variety show that day. This involved singing, dancing, playing instruments, and many other perfomances, such as taekwando routines and ones with swords. This also meant that I didn't have to teach any classes! My only obligation was to watch the show. Awesome, I'm in. The show was good too, the students have a lot of amazing talents. After the variety show, all members of the school staff took a 2 hour bus ride to Gimpo Island where we hiked up a mountain and then were treated to an expensive dinner. Before we left the school, I had coffee with a couple of other teachers, including the male teacher who told me I look like Julia Roberts at our last outing. I found out his name is Mr. Lee, and that he always wants to talk to me when he sees me in the halls and cafeteria, but apparently I'm too lovely to talk to. His English is minimal, so he had my co-teacher translate the question: "Do you like me or do you think I'm scary?" After replying that I like him and giving him the thumbs-up sign, he made an appointment with me to drink soju with him at the dinner, and we boarded the bus. We had to pull over at one point for a teacher to throw-up, but other than that the ride went well. The fact that it was raining didn't stop us from hiking either. Most Koreans are die-hard hikers, and Mr. Lee raced by me, managing to keep well ahead dispite several cigarette breaks. All of the teachers were impressed by my speed at crossing the rope bridge.

To provide a little background information about my adventurous eating experiences in the past month, I had gone out for dinner with my principal, vice-principal, and the other subject teachers in the school (English, Science, etc.) the previous week. I was informed before the meal by my co-teacher that we were going to an expensive restaurant, and that I should feel very lucky. I began to question the definition of "lucky" when I was told that the meal in store for us was raw fish. I had never eaten raw fish, nor had any remote desire to do so, but I was simply hoping that it would be stomach-able enough for me to pretend to enjoy. I was pleasantly amazed at how good it was. I know the fish was fresh too because, like most fish restaurants in Korea, there was an aquarium at the entrance where we could see our meal swimming around enjoying it's last few minutes of life. While sitting at the table, a plate of live octopus was placed in front of me and I almost jumped out of my skin. When I caught the first glimpse of movement I literally screamed out loud (or rather made the weird yelping noise that I make when I watch scary movies) and I bounced back in my seat. The other teachers laughed and then started digging in. The tentacles were cut into pieces and were squirming around. My principal invited me to try it so I reluctantly picked up my chopsticks, and stared at the octopus. I considered: A) trying to slip out of the restaurant unnoticed, and B) handing in my chopsticks and heading back to Canada. But for some reason, against every innate instinct, I began to reach for one of the writhing morsels. It was like an out-of-body experience. The octopus suckers had a hard grip on the plate and refused to release their grasp. It didn't want to be eaten, and I didn't want to eat it. All eyes were on me though, so as a last resort, I scraped the piece off of the plate and looked at it with open apprehension. After much hesitation, I finally shoved it into my mouth and started chewing. The weirdest part was feeling the octopus moving around in my mouth, but I actually wouldn't describe the taste and texture as awful. I only ate one piece though. Here is a photo of the octopus:

Now back to dinner on Gimpo Island. It was served with traditional Korean rice wine, which was fantastic, and of course several soju shots at the insistance of Mr. Lee. I was ecstactic to discover that the meal would be eel, served with a side of pupating silkworm larvae. What had I gotten myself into this time? The eel smelled similar to burning rubber when it was cooking on the bbq, which was slightly unappealing, but it the taste was pleasantly delicious. Kind of like a mild fish, I'd recommend it. Next I tried one of the pupating silkworm larvae. Not such a fairy tale experience. It was brown in colour and about the size of a large raisin. The smell could be compared to rotting garbage, or perhaps a carcass that has been sitting in the sun for a couple of days? Pupating means that the silkworm was in between the larvae and adulthood stages of life, undergoing metamorphosis. AKA disgusting. One of the other teachers was popping the gross-looking little buggers into her mouth like popcorn, so I figured why not? This was among the biggest mistakes that I have made since coming to Korea. BLAAGH! Taste, texture, smell = terrible. It tasted worse than it smelled, if that's possible. And the texture was chewy, gritty, dry and juicy all in one. Wouldn't recommend it. Not even to the guy who hit me with his man purse that morning. Here's a pic of what they looked like:

Another poor move that I made this past week was when I forgot my apartment key at work. I had gone right from school to meet some friends for dinner, and then went shopping for a Halloween costume after that. It was around 10 pm when I returned to my apartment building, and started shuffling through my purse to find my keys. My heart sank when I realized that my keys were were in the lock for my desk drawer at school where I keep all of my valuables (AKA candies). My first instinct was to cry, but then I thought, "Get a grip Hanley, don't be a pansy". So I opened my cell phone to try calling my landlord. He doesn't speak a word of English, but I figured he would probably be able to make a reasonable guess about who was calling, and could come help me. As I was scrolling down to his name in my contact list, the untimely "Battery low. Powering off." message appeared. I immediately began to regret playing video games on my phone for so long while on the subway, ultimately causing my battery to wear down to nothing. Damn you Zoo Zoo Club game. And how did I not know which room was my landlord's? Visions of sleeping in the stairwell began dancing around my head, and I started to dread the unavoidable embarassment of wearing the exact same outfit to school the next day and looking like a homeless person. Worst of all, what was I going to do with the litre of milk in my hand? Surely it would spoil by morning. Panic-stricken and weeping, I figured I could knock on one of my neighbours' doors and ask them to call the landlord. But what if they were sleeping, or what if they thought I was a Russian prostitute? I could go outside to see whose lights were still on, but for the prostitute concern I'd have to take my chances. I rang the bell next door, and heard my neighbour lock his door. Not unlock, lock. So far so good. He was not interested in what I was selling. So I tried pounding on the door, and he did eventually open it. All's well that ends well, and my neighbour knew enough English, or perhaps my wild charades enactment of my situation was simply remarkable enough, that he was able to understand the problem and he saved the day for me.

Lessons learned in October: 1) Get a copy of my key made. 2) Learn Korean. 3) Stop playing the Zoo Zoo Club game so much. 4) Become a professional charades player. 5) If it smells like rotting carcass, don't put it in your mouth.

Take care, I miss everyone from home! Hope you're thriving! xo

I'm "Easy" Like Sunday Morning

2008-10-05T11:19:00.014-04:00

Teaching has been great but my blog-updating skills have been less than below par. My apologies. This entry is one of the longest yet so if you want a way to kill 10 minutes, you're in the right place. Also if you're lacking in the sleep department and need a good nap, continue reading.

My students are sweethearts and they always keep me laughing due to their overly enthusiastic participation in the classroom (during song time they usually yell the words at the top of their lungs) and at the innocent comments that they make. One student asked me why my eyebrows are thin so I explained to her that I pluck them. She then advised my co-teacher to start plucking hers too. Each week I am required to teach 22 classes. I teach seven grade 6 classes, seven grade 5 classes, two classes to the teachers, and the rest of the classes alternate each month between the grade 3s and 4s. This past week I also started teaching three after-school classes to students twice per week. Work is beginning to feel a lot like work. It's fun because the kids are always excited to see me and I essentially get paid to sing and dance around like an idiot, but at the same time it's really exhausting. After the fifth time singing "Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes" in a day my voice starts cracking and the high notes are no longer reachable. It does get repetitive teaching the same lesson seven times, but it's also nice to have the chance to work out the kinks after a couple of attempts. My first class of the week always ends up being my guinea pigs.

This is a picture of my classroom. The kids standing there are supposed to be cleaning it because in Korea the students clean their schools (which is a little weird). But they're obviously engrossed in looking at the mop rather than doing anything productive:

Here is a picture of my lonely little desk in the corner of the classroom. They have since built a partition around my desk so that I am even more isolated from the rest of the class. On Thursday my co-teacher in the same room as me sent a message via the school's online messaging service that read: "I am sad because we are farther than before. I have to go now pumping my breast. I will be back".

This is the view of my school from the outside. You will rarely see grass in Seoul and the school yard is no exception:

Here is one of the wonderful squat toilets that I so often get asked about. You face the front and squat, and there's never any toilet paper in the stall. Ever. I'm unfamiliar with Korean laws but I'm starting to suspect that a no toilet paper rule is stipulated by the government:

Although I previously mocked the Koreans' decision to hail Spam as the ultimate in gormet, I would like to retract any harsh statements that I made in the past. After a horrifying meal of intestines and dried squid kimchi on Monday, Tuesday's Spam was the welcome change that any lucid foreigner could hope for. Fried slabs of Spam have quickly ascended my list of favourite cafeteria meals, topped only by the mysterious hashbrowns that were served at Thursday's lunch. The hashbrowns were suspiciously pink, and when I questioned the other teachers about their ingredients, nobody knew. I'm beginning to learn that sometimes it's just better not to know. Since arriving here and being subject to many abnormal meals, even the most mondane Western foods, such as toast, have caused me levels of bliss comparable to those associated with eating filet mignon or nanaimo bars. Being a person addicted to Frank's Red Hot Sauce, even I am shocked at the level of spice in Korean kimchi (formented cabbage covered in a hot red sauce). I lose a little piece of myself when I witness 6 or 7 year old children throwing back kimchi like it's candy, while I'm crying like a baby. The water glasses in the cafeteria are equivalent to the size of shot glasses so on average I have to refill my cup 3-5 times during a single meal. I also drink water throughout the day while I'm teaching like a fiend, apparently so much that the other teachers have been commenting on it. Not only are my water-drinking habits common knowledge around the school, any personal information that I share with members of the staff seems to spread like wildfire. For example, if I tell my co-teacher what I did on the weekend, it has made the school newsletter by lunchtime. I honestly don't know how they manage to tell each other so quickly. The speed of communication here is impressive.

I went out for a meal with a few of my co-workers the other day and it was a really interesting experience. One of the male teachers had never spoken to me before this get-together and I knew him only as "the man who spends 15 minutes combing his hair in the staffroom mirror each morning". Well it turns out that this teacher, like most Korean males, has a keen appetite for alcohol - specifically soju. In Korea it's rude to pour your own drinks and if someone else's glass is empty it's expected that you fill it. Needless to say, after ordering 2 bottles of soju for the table, my male coteacher (I can't remember his name) was downing soju shots like I do water during a regular kimchi session. As I was sitting closest to him, it was my full-time job to continuously pour him shots. By the time the next 2 bottles of soju were ordered it was almost 3 pm and I was wasted. As the soju vanished, so did my male co-workers inhibitions about talking to me. I apparently look like a movie star and should get my own tv show. I'm "very friendly" and "easy" (I assume/hope he meant easygoing). And I look like Julia Roberts but with a smaller mouth. After the meal, all of the female teachers and I waited outside of the restaurant while this male teacher groomed his hair in the mirror inside. Here is a picture of all of us cheersing:

Obsession with appearance seems to be a widespread interest among Koreans. In Canada, people will sometimes take a quick glance at their reflection in a store window to make sure that their hair is decent. In Korea, people will shamelessly give themselves a complete makeover in the subway. It's wild. Plastic surgery to get Western-style eyes is alarmingly common and buttcheeks don't exist here without implants. On the subway I even saw a girl wearing lens-less glasses. That's right, she was sporting empty frames because wearing glasses = appearing intelligent. I think it looks silly. I've recently been utilizing a new tactic to stop people from staring at me: staring back. I realize that most Koreans are simply curious because I look different than them, but any longer than a minute of ceaseless scrutiny warrants me making direct eye-contact with them until they feel uncomfortable. This works surprisingly well at averting their stares and is my daily countermeasure of choice.

This past week, I hiked up 2 of Seoul's mountains (Soyosan and Dobongsan), visited Seoul Tower (like the CN Tower only half the size), and toured the DMZ (demilitarized zone that divides North and South Korea). Mountain climbing was awesome and opened my eyes to the beauty of Seoul. During the weekends, Koreans flock to the mountains decked out in their hiking outfits, which all look something like the following:

Some areas of the mountain were extremely steep and dangerous. Although it was quite an intense workout (my quads were burning for days after), we joked that at the time it didn't even feel like we were exercising since our primary focus was survival. Here is a picture of my friend Jen on the "trail" at Soyosan:

Seoul tower was really amazing because we had a 360 degree view of the city from the top. We went up just before sunset so we got to see the city in the daylight and at night:

The DMZ was cool and was nowhere near as scary as I had envisioned it would be. Soldiers checked our passports on the way in, and another entire tourbus was turned away because one of the passengers forgot to bring his passport (I'd hate to be that guy). Although North and South Korea are still technically at war, the tour of the DMZ portrayed the situation to be quite peaceful and even created a video featuring cartoon rabbits, flowers and butterflies to illustrate this "fact". We walked through one of the invasion tunnels between the Koreas, which was obviously made for tiny Koreans and not Westerners, as we had to wear helmets and kept hitting our heads on the ceiling of the tunnel.

All in all I've been keeping super busy and having a great time. Hope everything is going well where you are, keep me posted and thanks for reading! xo

Delicious to the Fishes

2008-09-21T09:35:00.015-04:00

I had a busy week as I've been making friends (like the one in the photo above), and I taught my first classes. I think that they went really well. I introduced Canada and taught the students a song about a moose - including actions - and their little accents are so adorable when they sing that I want to adopt them all. I also had the kids pick their own English names, and some of their choices were a little questionable. I am now teaching a "Will Smith", a "Michael Jackson", and a "Chicken". In the cafeteria on Wednesday, I was given props for using my chopsticks correctly, including a thumbs-up from one of the teachers who doesn't speak English. I've come a long way in a week! The Korean teachers have been really helpful at teaching me bits and pieces of their language and customs, so it felt good when I was able to teach my co-teacher the English word for "breast-pump". I contribute what I can.

I've been trying to explore the city as much as possible when I have free time, and last weekend I visited a traditional Korean village. We saw traditional Korean dances, listened to traditional music, and even participated in some old-fashioned print-making. Here's one of the dances (the ribbons are attached to their hats!):

It was a cool experience, but the Korean people visiting the village acted like we were one of the exhibits. At one point, I noticed a man videotaping in my direction. Wondering if he was capturing something exciting that was going on behind me, I looked around only to discover that I was infront of a blank wall. When I was print-making, a woman came up to me carrying a very impressive-looking camera and asked if she could take pictures. She stood there literally the entire 5-10 minutes that I was decorating my paper, continuously snapping photos. Who knows, I might be front page news somewhere - what an exciting article that would be.

I've eaten a few delicious meals in the past week, and also tried a number of improbable food choices. Some of the tastier meals were samgyupsal, which is like thick bacon that was cooked at the table on a grill (I only burned myself on the grill once), and pajang, which is a greasy pancake-shaped hashbrown filled with seafood, or kimchi (formented cabbage - a Korean staple). Here's a pic of the samgyupsal being prepared:

The orientation week cafeteria did little in terms of preparing me for food of the edible variety, as it was the place where I unknowingly tried fish brain soup. It tastes worst than it sounds. Something I gagged down this week for the first time was whole dried fish. They look like minnows, and there is something unsettling about being able to see their little black eyeballs as you shovel them into your mouth. Koreans have a completely different idea than me about what constitutes gourmet - Spam is very popular, and they even sell it in giftboxes at the supermarket. Make sure you give me your home address so that you won't miss your special present at Christmas time.

There are three things that irk me about walking around in Seoul. Number 1 is the around-the-clock spitting that men and children do here. And it's never simply just saliva - they'll make loud noises as they gather the snot out of the back of their throats before horking it out on the sidewalk. Very classy. This will probably be a selling feature for anyone who is thinking about coming to visit me. Number 2 is the constant fear of getting run over by a scooter or motorcycle. For some reason, it is permissible to weave in and out of people on the sidewalk. I have almost been hit several times. And finally, number 3 is the multitude of stairs that I am required to climb each day. To begin with, there are about 43 billion stairs leading into and out of the subway stations. My classroom is on the fourth floor of my school, so if I wasn't already sweaty enough after my walk from the subway station, I have this to look forward to each day. I have a strong feeling that my legs are going to be ripped by the time I leave this country. I also recently stopped taking the elevator up to my apartment on the second floor - this was a big "step" for me.

I found a sweet department store near my house, it's only a 15 minute walk away. Department stores work differently here than they do at home, as each floor is divided into tiny separate sections/stores. You must pay for your merchandise within that miniature section, and you cannot wander away with it while you decide - I found this out the hard way. The weirdest part is that many places do not let you try the clothing on before you buy it! Apparently they don't want to you to get the clothes dirty - there is a fitting room, you just can't use it. Baffling.

A fantastical thing I did this weekend was visited the Dr. Fish Cafe. You buy a meal and for $2 more you can stick your feet into a pool of fish and they eat the dead skin off, essentially giving you a pedicure. Whoever thought of this is a genius. The only problem was that it felt like someone was constantly tickling my feet, so it took me a few minutes just to get my feet in the water. I was screaming and squealing to the enjoyment of the other people in the restaurant, I'm sure. Here's a video of the fish savouring their scrumptious meal:

Here's a night picture of an area in Seoul called "Nowon":

I finally found out my mailing address so if anyone wants to shoot me a letter or a large care package filled with cheese and cinnamon gum, that would be awesome:

Lisa Hanley

204 ho (apartment #)

Heuchang Officetel 896-29 (building name & #)

Bongchun 4 Dong, Gwanak-Gu,

Seoul, The Republic of Korea,

151-839 (postal code)

And I just got a cell phone too! My number is 010-SOJU-BEER... I know it makes me sound like an alcoholic which I'm obviously not, but they gave me the choice and I wanted something I could remember easily.

Take care!

The Price I Pay for Cheese, Jeez Louise

2008-09-10T04:18:00.010-04:00

As you may already be aware, I have yet to do a smidgen of work since arriving in Korea. On the 24th I will be getting paid a month's salary after having only taught for 3 days (I start working on the 17th and then observe my second co-teacher's classes on the 18th and 19th before teaching with her for the first time the following Monday). I must say, this my kind of job so far! I however don't want to mislead you into thinking that observing is as easy as it may sound - I have to watch the same lesson usually 5 or 6 times per a day, all while fighting against loss of consciousness due to extreme boredom and excessive sweating. It is seriously excruciatingly hot and humid here 24/7. I've perspired a minimum of 15X my body weight over the last three weeks and usually need to peel myself off of chairs when I stand up. It's attractive. The leather couch in my co-teacher's classroom does nothing to help the situation. When I am in my apartment, I have the a/c going pretty much all of the time and am usually lounging in my underwear - I guess that's one positive point about living all by myself, no one feels awkward when I do it here.

I have been somewhat learning how to read Korean. One of the teachers in my school showed me how their alphabet works and how they write. It's very different from our's, here's how my name would be written: 리사 한리 . Each character represents a certain sound, and the letters are chunked into syllables. The problem now is that if I can sound a word out, I have no idea what it means! I am also slowly learning how to use chopsticks. I was told the other day that there is a specific way that "properly educated" people hold them, and I apparently have not been holding them this way (how embarassing!). I have been practicing and I can feel my hand muscles getting stronger already, it's a real workout. Just the sheer concentration required makes me break into yet another sweat. Another thing that I am proud to say I have improved at are my skills at using the squat toilets. I have found one Western-style toilet at my school, but it's seems dangerously wobbly, so I have opted to use the traditional Korean toilets. I peed on the floor a couple times at first, but I have since perfected my aim and accuracy. Yay for me!

I'm settling into my apartment nicely. Here is a picture of the front of my building. I'm on the 2nd floor pretty much right above the main door (I think):

Here are some pictures of the inside of my apartment:

My wicked hot-pink bed

Computer desk and wardrobe

My massive kitchen - my washing machine is under my stove which has 1 burner

My bathroom - I shower in the right in the middle (so everything gets soaked) and there is a drain in the floor

All of my stuff is unpacked and I even have an entire drawer devoted soley to Mike & Ikes (my favourite candies). We need to use expensive bags for garbage disposal here, one for food waste and a different one for general trash. I have taken the garbage out twice now and have only used the wrong type of bags once, so that's pretty good for me. My "free" internet connection is no longer completely rock solid - it sometimes cuts out and will only work if I'm lying down on my bed, balancing my laptop on my legs at just the right angle. It's a little peculiar, and I sometimes wonder if my neighbours can see me through the window doing acrobatics with my computer. I bought a plant today for my room which was likely inspired by my visit to Bob and Maureen's on the weekend. I stayed over there Saturday night, and it was like a night at the Hilton but free-er. Their place is massive and beautiful, and could easily fit 5 or 6 of my apartments inside - no joke! We went shopping in Itaewon during the day, which is a very popular area for foreigners like us, and we found a Canadian-style pub called "The Rocky Mountain Tavern" where we had some beers. It was like a little trip home. We went to a tippy-cup party that night, and returned to the Canadian-style pub the next day to nurse our hangovers with our first poutines since arriving in Korea, mmm. These are a couple amusing signs that we spotted in Itaewon:

This one was not so welcoming:

The Korean people who I have encountered in public places, such as in stores and the subway, have been really nice to me and asked me questions like where I'm from, etc., and given me their business cards. Most of them have seemed harmless and friendly. I am, however, pretty sure that an old man tried to buy me the other day. His broken English was confusing, but the general idea that I took away from our conversation is that he mistook me for a prositute. He was trying to give me a big wad of money while saying: "I'm not a bad man, I'm just lonely and want a friend". I was tempted mostly by his brown decaying teeth, but I somehow managed to refrain myself.

My last exciting piece of news for this entry is that I went to a sweet supermarket yesterday and picked up the hugest bag of shredded mozzarella that I have ever seen. It was rediculously expensive though, and I really could have used the money from that creepy old man on the subway to pay for it. In the picture below of items that I purchased, can you can guess which side cost me more? The 1 kg bag of cheese that is on the left hand side? Or the cost of all the items on the right hand side totalled together (there are crackers, 3 bottles of soju - which is basically Korean vodka at 20% alc, a bottle of water, 2 packages of tofu, and almost a kg of pork cutlets?
If you guessed the cheese was cheaper, you'd be wrong. It was over $12, and the stuff on the right was around $11. The price I pay for cheese, jeez Louise. Atleast their alcohol prices are more reasonable than in Canada.

Well I should make some dinner now and use up some of the rediculous amounts of food I just bought! Keep posting comments!

Man Gets Hit With "Football"

2008-09-01T07:01:00.007-04:00

Woo-hoo, I survived my first week in Korea! My orientation finished well and I learned tons, but they had us sitting for countless hours on end - breakfast was at 7am and we had classes till 9pm everyday. This seriously impeded my ability to socialize and enjoy a couple of pops with my colleagues (I'm not saying that I didn't squeeze in a couple though). Bob and Maureen made class tolerable by making me laugh hysterically throughout, and I also created the following while I was trying to stay awake during a particularly boring lecture:

One of the nights, a couple of friends and I walked by a karaoke party that was being held at the centre by Seoul Metro, and we somehow got pulled in to sing for them. Koreans are crazy about karaoke! They went wild over our rendition of Britney Spears. We went to the Korean National Museum on Friday, and sang karaoke on the way because every bus in Seoul is equipped for karaoke. This is a picture that I took of Seoul from the window of the museum:

Here are pictures of a few interesting artifacts that I saw at the museum:

"Shell - shocked":

Very stylish Korean outfit:

Thankfully these had a name tag, or I never would have figured out what they were:

Careful attention to detail:

I moved into my apartment on Saturday. It's a little smaller than a shoebox, but it includes cable, and the principal bought me a lot of stuff including a kettle, dustbuster, rice cooker, toaster, pots, pans, and dishes, shampoo, tp, a laundry basket, detergent, a drying rack, and some food, so my apartment is fully loaded. I'm also getting "free" wireless internet. Apparently us foreign English teachers make more money than the Korean teachers, plus we get housing provided, so I really can't complain about my living situation. Today I spent my first day at Doshin Elementary School in the Nambu District of Seoul. I will be observing there until September 17th which is when I start teaching grades 3-6. The best news is that I get a five-day holiday starting Thursday of next week as it will be the Korean Thanksgiving, aka Chuseok. Good timing since I've been lamenting the loss of my freedom to sleep-in until noon everyday. All of the teachers at my school are very nice, but are embarassed to speak in English with me because they don't think they are good enough at it. I know approximately 2 words in Korean, so you can imagine how well our conversations flow. I'm taller than my principal and at least 98% of the staff. When I walk by students, their mouths drop, they stop in their tracks, and they gasp loudly. A group of students in the school were following me around today saying "Hello" over and over again and giggling. In the neighbourhood near my apartment, there are no other foreigners so I basically get gawked at whenever I leave the shelter of my home. I'm a mutant celebrity, but nobody wants my autograph! I'm usually self-conscious in public here (due to the hundreds of people who blatantly stare), but I seem to draw even more attention to myself as I handle public transportation quite poorly. Today I was standing on the bus/falling all over because I don't have good balance on solid ground on a good day. When I got off, I hit my head on one of the handles that you're supposed to hold onto - they're evidently (or maybe strategically) placed at a height not suitable for mammoths like me. Would you be surprised if I told you that I got off at the wrong stop and that it was pouring rain?
Another thing Koreans are crazy about (besides karaoke) is rice. They literally have it for every meal, breakfast included. I have eaten more rice in the past week than I have in the last 8 years, but the food is really good here. I have yet to find a a place that sells poutine, regardless I'm keeping my eyes peeled! Well I should go learn some more of the Korean language so that I can put operation "blend in" into action tomorrow!

Crunky Chocolate Balls

2008-08-25T06:15:00.005-04:00

Korean product names are hilarious... and Crunky Ball Chocolate is one of my new favourite foods. So today has been my first official full-day in Korea, and so far so good. For starters, they gave me a wicked pen at orientation - it has a highlighter attached and 3 different ink colours. I hope I don't lose it immediately like I seem to do with everything else I've owned. Yesterday, our flight was 14 hours long, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected. Each seat had its own tv with a selection of movies (I watched 4!), cds, games, tv shows, etc., so it made the flight pass a lot faster. I however did adopt an addiction to Tetris, and even had dreams last night about various play strategies. Speaking of which, I'll need to download that game. We arrived in Incheon, South Korea at 4 pm Korea time, and had about an hour's drive to Seoul afterward. You guessed it, we had a bus driver who didn't know where the orientation site was so we got lost twice and had to stop and ask for directions twice along the way, but nevertheless, we made it in one piece. I didn't have any roommates last night, and had to figure out how exactly I was supposed to sleep in the following bed:

Not a simple task. I opted for underneath the white cocoon thing. I'm still not sure if it was the right decision as I woke up sweating profusely. Today I took a nap after breakfast and woke up with a start at 10:15 am when I realized that we had registration at 10. Complete with sleep-wrinkles on my face, I hurried down to the lobby only to discover that registration had been crossed off the posted schedule with thick black permanent marker. A guy named Dylan invited me to go to E-Mart with him and some friends, and as disheveled in appearance as I was, I accepted. E-Mart is the greatest store on Earth! Imagine a Great Canadian Superstore bred with Walmart and produced an unusually large 2-storied child. I'll definetely be returning there. Frequently. I must run now to an "icebreaker" meeting with my orientation "team", but to sum up Korea so far - great food (literally everything is spicy), nice people, and beautiful trees (there are lots of mountains by our orientation site). Oh ya, quick question: what do you think is bigger, the E-Mart or the tube of toothpaste that was given to us on the plane? (see below):

Visa For Lisa? - Hanging on the Edge of Sanity

2008-08-22T10:57:00.004-04:00

When people ask: "When do you leave for Korea?" it's a tricky question to answer, as I'm unsure myself. My flight's booked for tomorrow (August 23rd) at 1 pm, but I found out on Tuesday that I must go in for an interview at 4 pm today at the Toronto Korean Consulate before my visa can be issued. They apparently have enough time on their hands to waste mine by making me come in for a pointless interview that I'm not supposed to have, yet not enough time to issue my visa before Monday. Perhaps they should spend the $55 money orders that we're required to send in with our applications on hiring Time Management staff? I have been pondering potential plans to convince them that they should give me my visa at the interview, but aside from crying like a baby, I'm stuck. On the other hand, weeping has worked to get me out of speeding tickets before so I'm not ruling it out entirely.